Burger jokes

Fuck burger.

A new burger has been invented in memory of Stephen Hawking.

I doubt it will sell though, as it's 95% cabbage.

Your hairline goes all the way back to when Burger King was a Burger Prince.

Why couldn't Helen Keller eat her Big Mac?

She was too busy trying to read the sesame seeds.

Did you know that McDonald's made a Michael Jackson burger? It’s a 50-year-old piece of meat in a 12-year-old bun.

Jeffrey Dahmer was eating at 5 Guys before it was a restaurant.

Q: What do Burger King and Michael Jackson have in common?

A: They put meat on five-year-old buns.

- Yo mama is so fat, when she wears a yellow dress, people yell "Taxi!"

- Yo mama is so stupid, she tried to climb Mountain Dew.

- Yo mama is so ugly, she made a blind kid cry.

- Yo mama is so old, she knew Burger King when he was still a prince.

- Yo mama is so poor, she can't even afford to pay attention.

Your forehead goes back to when Burger King was Burger Prince.

Why do orphans not have cheese on their burgers? They don't have a dad to get milk.

Bunger.

This bunny named Mason came up to a bar and ordered a beer and a burger. He sits at a table and the waiter brought a huge burger.

Mason: "Heh. Good thing I eat like a horse." He looks up at the waiter.

Waiter: "You are a nasty little bunny, aren't you?"

Mason screamed and ran away as the waiter chased him... she was a HORSE.

Vegan Teacher the musical.

Miss Kadie - "Oh no, you poor dead animal!"

Mr. Beast- 🎶 "You're a dumb Communist, Miss Kadie" 🎶

Chandler-🎵 "Yup, you're one high fluting son of a gun" 🎵

Mr. Beast- 🎵 "I just gobbled up a quadruple patty from my restaurant" 🎵

Miss Kadie - 🎵 "Don't hurt animals kids, do you want to be a vegans 'R' us kid?" 🎵

Kids- 🎵 "We've had enough of your problems, Miss Kadie, you're such a commie!"

Miss Kadie - 🎵 "I just want to die because I'm so sad!"

- Miss Kadie jumps off Mr. Beast Burger and commits suicide.

Where do Dairy Queen and Burger King go after dinner?

White Castle.

Yo mama so ugly, she got a lifetime ban from KFC for ordering too many burgers.

I'm so poor I have to put my Big Mac burger on layaway.

A burger walks into a bar and says, "Hi sir, can I have a glass of water?"

And the waiter says, "I'm sorry sir, we don't serve food here."

What's the difference between a priest and McDonald's? They both stick their meat in 10-year-old buns.

What do you get when you eat a hamburger?

Mustard gas.

Little Johnny is my son, and he got hit by a semi-truck owned by a Russian. Now I am on my way on a nuclear submarine with a Burger King Whopper to Moscow, then take revenge for little Johnny!