Burger jokes

Fuck burger.

A new burger has been invented in memory of Stephen Hawking.

I doubt it will sell though, as it's 95% cabbage.

Your hairline goes all the way back to when Burger King was a Burger Prince.

Why couldn't Helen Keller eat her Big Mac?

She was too busy trying to read the sesame seeds.

Did you know that McDonald's made a Michael Jackson burger? It’s a 50-year-old piece of meat in a 12-year-old bun.

Jeffrey Dahmer was eating at 5 Guys before it was a restaurant.

Q: What do Burger King and Michael Jackson have in common?

A: They put meat on five-year-old buns.

- Yo mama is so fat, when she wears a yellow dress, people yell "Taxi!"

- Yo mama is so stupid, she tried to climb Mountain Dew.

- Yo mama is so ugly, she made a blind kid cry.

- Yo mama is so old, she knew Burger King when he was still a prince.

- Yo mama is so poor, she can't even afford to pay attention.

Your forehead goes back to when Burger King was Burger Prince.

Yo mama so ugly, she got a lifetime ban from KFC for ordering too many burgers.

Why do orphans not have cheese on their burgers? They don't have a dad to get milk.

Bunger.

This bunny named Mason came up to a bar and ordered a beer and a burger. He sits at a table and the waiter brought a huge burger.

Mason: "Heh. Good thing I eat like a horse." He looks up at the waiter.

Waiter: "You are a nasty little bunny, aren't you?"

Mason screamed and ran away as the waiter chased him... she was a HORSE.

Vegan Teacher the musical.

Miss Kadie - "Oh no, you poor dead animal!"

Mr. Beast- 🎶 "You're a dumb Communist, Miss Kadie" 🎶

Chandler-🎵 "Yup, you're one high fluting son of a gun" 🎵

Mr. Beast- 🎵 "I just gobbled up a quadruple patty from my restaurant" 🎵

Miss Kadie - 🎵 "Don't hurt animals kids, do you want to be a vegans 'R' us kid?" 🎵

Kids- 🎵 "We've had enough of your problems, Miss Kadie, you're such a commie!"

Miss Kadie - 🎵 "I just want to die because I'm so sad!"

- Miss Kadie jumps off Mr. Beast Burger and commits suicide.

Where do Dairy Queen and Burger King go after dinner?

White Castle.

A burger walks into a bar and says, "Hi sir, can I have a glass of water?"

And the waiter says, "I'm sorry sir, we don't serve food here."

I'm so poor I have to put my Big Mac burger on layaway.

What's the difference between a priest and McDonald's? They both stick their meat in 10-year-old buns.

What do you get when you eat a hamburger?

Mustard gas.

Little Johnny is my son, and he got hit by a semi-truck owned by a Russian. Now I am on my way on a nuclear submarine with a Burger King Whopper to Moscow, then take revenge for little Johnny!