Building jokes
They say there is strength in numbers. Tell that to the people in the World Trade Center.
Why did the Twin Towers die? Because they had too many plane pizzas.
What’s the difference between the twin towers and your parents?
Nothing, they are both just memories.
There were these two guys in a lunatic asylum... and one night, they decide they don't like living in an asylum anymore. They decide they're going to escape!
So, like, they get up onto the roof, and there, just across this narrow gap, they see the rooftops of the town, stretching away in the moonlight... stretching away to freedom. Now, the first guy, he jumps right across with no problem. But his friend, his friend didn't dare make the leap. You see... You see, he's afraid of falling.
So then, the first guy has an idea... He says "Hey! I have my flashlight with me! I'll shine it across the gap between the buildings. You can walk along the beam and join me!" B-but the second guy just shakes his head. He suh-says... He says "Wh-what do you think I am? Crazy? You'd turn it off when I was half way across!"
I have a really good construction joke, but I’ll have to post it later because I’m still working on it.
Three construction workers were sitting on the bridge that they were building, having their lunch break. The first guy says, "If I get a Vegemite sandwich again, I am going to jump off this bridge." The second guy says, "If I get a peanut butter sandwich again, I am going to jump off this bridge." The third guy says, "If I get another strawberry jam sandwich, then I am going to jump off this bridge." The next day, the first guy gets a Vegemite sandwich, the second guy gets a peanut butter sandwich, and the third guy gets a strawberry jam sandwich. All three guys jump off the bridge and die. The next day at their funerals, the first wife says, "If he just told me, I would have given him a different sandwich." The second guy's wife says, "It is all my fault. If only I knew." The third wife says, "I don't get it, he makes his own lunch."
"Hola soy Dora, do you see Donald Trump? That’s right, he’s at my house, and he’s building a wall to separate me and Caillou. And Mami won’t let him, so she was walled alive!"
Who are the fastest readers in history?
9/11 victims. They went through 80 stories in 10 seconds.
Why is the Tower of Pisa tilted?
Because it had more reflects than the Twin Towers.
What type of horse can jump higher than a house?
All houses can't jump.
Build your ex a fire, and they're warm for a day.
Set your ex on fire and hide the smile/evidence.
What's the difference between pizza deliveries and the Twin Towers?
Pizza deliveries get their orders right.
What was the last pizza order at the World Trade Center?
Two large planes.
What do you call a house with no one living inside?
An orphan house.
What makes genders and Twin Towers similar?
There used to be two of them, and now it's a sensitive subject.
What did the pedestrian say after he saw the twin towers fell?
JENGA!!!!
I have a Twin Towers model in my room.
It got infested with jumping spiders.
What does a skeleton tile his roof with? Shingles!
Why were the twin towers mad?
Because they ordered a cheese pizza, but instead they got plane.
Why do men fart louder than women?
Because women can’t keep their mouth shut to build up any pressure.