My ex broke up with me the day before his birthday. Yeah, he never got to see anything on his birthday. Next thing you know, I'm now in prison.
Broke Jokes
She asked me if I was hung like a horse, but I said no.
I'm hung like a person who wants to die, but then the rope broke.
My mom thinks I need to stop objectifying women. I think she is overreacting.
She asked why I broke up with the last girl, and I said,
"It didn't work out."
She told me to be more specific, so I said,
"I just told you, she didn't exercise."
My cousin just broke up with his girlfriend, and I told him, "Since your dad owns a moving company, you can already take half of her stuff."
My cousin just broke up with her boyfriend, and I told her, "Since your dad owns a moving company, you can already take half of his stuff."
Why did the rapper go broke?
He kept dropping dimes.
I just broke up with my mathematician girlfriend. She was obsessed with an X.
My girlfriend just broke up with me for talking about video games too much. What a stupid thing to Fallout 4.
Yo mama so fat, she fell off the judgement room and broke the 7 layers of hell.
What did the rapper say when he broke his mic?
"Looks like I dropped the mic... literally!"
A blonde really got tired of all blonde jokes and decided to hang herself in the bathroom. As she locked the door, she yelled at her husband, "I'm hanging myself because I'm tired of jokes about us blondes being stupid!" Her husband broke into the bathroom and saw his wife with a rope tied on her toe. The husband said, "I thought you were hanging yourself." She said, "Yes, I am!" The husband replied, "Usually when people hang themselves, they tie the rope around their neck, so why is yours tied on your toe?" She said, "I tried that, but I couldn't breathe."
I asked Daveon if he ever considered trying something new, and he replied "why fix what ain't broke?"
"Daveon, stop screaming for help because I broke your kneecaps!"
What did the rapper say to his BROKEN PENCIL?
"You broke the beat!"
What did the autistic kid say to his girlfriend after they broke up?
"I thought what we had was special!"
How do you know if a rapper's broke?
When he starts dropping cents instead of bars.
If I had a dollar for every time a rap hater made an intelligent statement, Iβd be more broke than the rap haters.
Fat jokes and mom jokesπ
1. So fat when she sat on the toilet, she said, "A B C D E F G, get your fat ass off me."
2. So fat, your dad and her were in bed and tried to kiss. Heβd have to slap her belly and ride the third wave up.
3. Yo mama so fat that when she went to Japan in a green bikini, they all started yelling, "Godzilla, Godzilla."
4. Your mamaβs so fat when she went bungee jumping, she broke the bridge!
5. Bill was so fat when he stepped on the scale, it said "to be continued."
6. Yo mama so fat, she put on her lipstick with a paint-roller.
Your cut [is] so broke, even Bob the Builder can't fix it.
Not a joke but there's nowhere else to post this, (mainly this post is for the broke people without a gym). Did you know that the body can't tell if you're using weights? So lifting weights are optional.
Some beginner workouts without weights for like really weak people:
1. Sit-ups 10 reps 2. Push-ups 20 per reps 3. Squats 10 per reps 4. Crunches 10 per reps
