British Jokes

Americans: we drive on the right side of the road

The British: we drive on the left side of the road

Russia: ROAD IS ROAD *crashing noises follow*

whats the difference between the queens death and princess Diana death? the queen died in peace not pieces

british emo people b like oi i’m upset

Only one band is capable of affording the insurance on supercars. UB40!

What’s the difference between a cancer patient and British news reporter in south They usually don’t live to tell the tale

I don’t believe in reincarnation now, and I didn’t believe in it when I was a hamster. —Shane Richie, British actor

American people: We will throw your teabags in the ocean! British: At least our towers didn’t fall😎

A American goes on a British bus after being in war he wants to sit down so he goes to the back of the bus to sit down but there is a old woman on the seat with her dog in the next the man says will you move your dog the lady says oh you Americans always so demanding and she says to sit some where else he goes through and finds no seats so now he at the back again this time he throws the dog out the window and sits down the man in front says you Americans always do things wrong first yoy drive on the wrong side of the road then hold you knife and fork wrong and you threw the wrong bitch out the window

This joke includes potentially sensitive content.

n 1941, Hans, a young German boy, was listening to the radio. Over the radio, Hitler announced that Germany was now going to war with the United States. “Father, where is the United States,” Hans asked. His father pointed at a map of North America. “Aren’t we currently at war with Russia? Where might that be,” he questioned his father. The man pointed towards the Soviet Union. “And I’m told we’re also at war with the British Empire. Where is that?” The father pointed out all of the territories owned by the British. “Where is Germany again, Father?” He pointed to their home country in Central Europe. Hans pondered this information for a second. “One last question, Father.” “Yes?” “Has Hitler seen this map?”

What do you call a white man farting? "British Gas"

What do you call the original immigrants to the British Isles? Anglosaxon

The British Society of Psychics annual convention had to be cancelled due to unforeseen circumstances!

What does a British cannibals favorite meal?

Fish and chaps.

What did the British soldiers say while in the trenches? "Damn it's windy out here"

British tv:🖥 Italian tv:📺

Just because I don't like Lewis Hamilton, doesn't make me racist.

This joke includes potentially sensitive content.

You take a plane from Australia your mom is American your dad is British and. Your brother (and you) is Canadian (well because they traveled along many places) you are eating dinner but you realized you were going to europe. You went sleepy and you forgot your pet named “Strallia”. But she could not go anyways so you had to leave her. When you went to europe you were in the “COUNTRY-SIDE”