Breath jokes
What happened after George Floyd went to the drugstore to buy Zicam Extreme Congestion Relief?
George Floyd was able to breathe again.
Does breath smell like 馃崙?
I live inside my own world of make-believe. Kids screaming in their cradles, profanities. I see the world through eyes covered in ink and bleach. Cross out the ones who heard my cries and watched me weep. I love everything. Fire's spreading all around my room. My world's so bright. It's hard to breathe, but that's alright. Hush, shh.
Tape my eyes open to force reality (oh no, no). Why can't you just let me eat my weight in glee? I live inside my own world of make-believe. Kids screaming in their cradles, profanities. Some days I feel skinnier than all the other days, And some days I can't tell if my body belongs to me. I love everything. Fire's spreading all around my room. My world's so bright. It's hard to breathe, but that's alright. Hush, shh.
I wanna taste your content. Hold your breath and feel the tension. Devils hide behind redemption. Honesty is a one-way gate to hell. I wanna taste consumption. Breathe faster to waste oxygen. Hear the children sing aloud. It's music 'til the wick burns out. Hush.
Just wanna be carefree lately, yeah. Just kicking up daisies. Got one too many quarters in my pockets. Count 'em like the four-leaf clovers in my locket. Untied laces, yeah. Just tripping on daydreams. Got dirty little lullabies playing on repeat. Might as well just rot around the nursery and count sheep.
What do you call a shoe made by George Floyd?
The Breath Takers.
The sky never changes color, but when it does, we know how your breath is increasing.
Why can't George Floyd breathe? He had a knee on his neck, stupid.
Depressed person: *chokes on food*
*involuntary coughs until they can breathe*
"AWWW! I failed the race!"
My mom said the happier a person is when sick, the sooner they get better.
So I went to the hospital, hooked up everyone's breathing masks to laughing gas.
A 9-year-old girl lies on a hospital bed struggling to breathe as she waits for the doctor to come.
The doctor finally comes, and the little girl can breathe much easier after he pulls his cock out of her mouth.
What goes oOoOo on your breath that scared away the animals from the farm?
A man shoots up a school and then fakes his own death. He then later returns to shoot up the same school. He repeats the process a few times until the police catch him. When they ask why he did it, he replied, "I wondered when you would check if I was still breathing."
What did the elephant say to the naked man?
"How do you breathe through something so small?"
I've recently been treated with Asthma and have been prescribed penicillin. One day I was taking it and a man screaming "SUIII" came into the room and stole it! He thought the penicillin would give him penalties. I couldn't breathe, shame on you Penaldo for ruining my life!
What does a shark smoke? Sea-weed.
How do whales breathe underwater? They take a deep meth.
What did the Los Angeles Police do when George Floyd said that he could not breathe? They gave George Floyd two squirts of Zicam cold remedy inside his nose.
Yo mama so old, I bet she was born when dinosaurs were made, and also she killed them with they breath! 馃槶馃槶
Q: What did the elephant say to the naked man?
A: How do you breathe through that little thing?
I like George Floyd's new song. It is really breathtaking.
I can barely remember the last words my uncle told me.
"Let go of my nose!"
Q: How did the mobile phone propose to his girlfriend?
A: He gave her a ring.
Q: What鈥檚 the most popular video game at the bread bakery?
A: Knead for Speed.
Q: Why is Santa good at karate?
A: He has a black belt.
Q: Where do werewolves buy Christmas gifts?
A: Beast Buy.
Q: What did the snowflake say to the road?
A: Let鈥檚 stick together.
Q: Why did the turkey join a band?
A: So he could use his drumsticks.
Q: What鈥檚 a math teacher鈥檚 favorite winter sport?
A: Figure skating.
Q: Where do werewolves buy Christmas gifts?
A: Beast Buy.
Q: What did the snowflake say to the road?
A: Let鈥檚 stick together.
Q: Why did the turkey join a band?
A: So he could use his drumsticks.
Q: What鈥檚 a math teacher鈥檚 favorite winter sport?
A: Figure skating.
Q: What鈥檚 a firefly鈥檚 favorite dance?
A: The glitterbug.
Q: Why are eyeshadow, lipstick, and mascara never mad at each other?
A: Because they always make-up.
Q: Where do roses sleep at night?
A: In their flowerbed.
Q: Why was the shoe bad at gymnastics?
A: She was a flip-flop.
Q: What should you wear to a tea party?
A: A t-shirt.
Q: What鈥檚 rain鈥檚 favorite accessory?
A: A rainbow.
Q: Where does a sink go dancing?
A: The Dish-co.
Q: What鈥檚 a princess鈥檚 favorite time?
A: Knight time.
Q: Why did the Genie get mad?
A: Because he was rubbed the wrong way.
Q: What鈥檚 a ballerina鈥檚 favorite type of bread?
A: A bun.
Q: What kind of dance was the frog prince best at?
A: Hip hop.
Q: What do bunnies like to do at the mall?
A: Shop 鈥榯il they hop.
Q: How did the beauty school student do on her manicure test?
A: She nailed it.
Q: What is corn鈥檚 favorite music?
A: Pop.
Q: Why can鈥檛 Monday lift Saturday?
A: It鈥檚 a weak day.
Q: Why was the politician out of breath?
A: He was running for office.
Q: What is a soccer player鈥檚 favorite chemical element?
A: Goooooooooooold!
Q: Why did the fastest cat in class get kicked out of school?
A: He was a cheetah.
Q: Which state has the greatest number of jokes?
A: Pennsylvania.
Q: Where is the best place to sit when a submarine is diving?
A: Inside.
Q: Why did the lawyer show up in court in his underwear?
A: He forgot his lawsuit.
Q: Why was the teenager no longer allowed online without a license?
A: He crashed the computer.
Q: What鈥檚 a ball that you don鈥檛 throw, shoot, eat, spit, bounce, or catch?
A: An eyeball.
Q: What do turtles, eggs, and beaches all have?
A: Shells.
Q: What time of year do people get injured the most?
A: In the fall.
Q: Why did the quarterback take the hardest classes?
A: Because he knew he would pass.
Q: Why did the musician throw away her table?
A: Because it was flat.
Q: Why didn鈥檛 the farmer's son study medicine?
A: Because he wanted to go into a different field.
Q: What is the math teacher鈥檚 favorite dessert?
A: Pi.
Q: Why was the princess in the emergency room?