Break jokes
Stephen Hawking couldn't drink anything.
He'd break if he did.
Why do they tell actors to "break a leg"?
Because every play has a cast.
Why did the biology teacher break up with the physics teacher?
Because there was no chemistry...
When Chuck Norris breaks a mirror, the mirror gets seven years of bad luck.
How did the retard win the break dancing competition?
He saw flashing lights.
A condom and bungee jumping are exactly alike, if the rubber breaks, you're f**ked.
Never break someone’s heart, they only have one.
Break their bones instead, they have 206 of them.
A woman decides to take a well-earned vacation, and she asks her brother to watch her cat while she's away.
On the second day, when she calls her brother to see how things are going, he tells her bluntly that the cat is dead.
The woman is really upset and goes into hysterics, before saying, "You can't tell a person bad news so bluntly. You should break the news gently. The first day, you should have said that Fluffy was stuck on the roof and couldn't get down. The second day, you could have said that she had fallen, but the vet said she would be okay. Then on the third day, you could have said that she died from complications."
The next day, the woman calls her brother again and asks how things are. He says, "Well, Grandma is stuck on the roof and can't get down..."
What do you do when your dishwasher breaks down?
You punch her in the face and remind her of her duties.
Q: What do you call a tsunami?
A: Your mom's water breaking.
What do you call a fish with no legs?
Fsh have no legs.
What do you do with legs?
Fsh have no legs.
What do you do with legs?
Break!
A retard won a break-dancing competition. All he did was go to get a drink.
Sticks and stones may break my bones, but there will always be something that offends feminists.
Why does a movie set say "break a leg"? Because they have a cast.
When your sad don’t feel down about yourself break someone’s leg and laugh.
Break a wine glass: I give you bad luck for a year.
Break a mirror: Funny wine glass, I give you bad luck for 7 years.
Breaking a condom: Haha so funny mirror.
Why did Hitler's girlfriend break up with him? He Hit-ler.
I had a goldfish that could break dance on the carpet... but only for, like, twenty seconds and only once.
Breaking News! A plane crashes into a bridge.
"If all of these structures break we will all die."
And I said, "Hey, that is not supportive!"
And he said, "It would be breaking news."