New Box Jokes - Page 6 - Worst Jokes Ever

My mom gave me a box of chocolates and she said life is like a box of chocolates but then it kind of tastes like dog shit.

There were 20 people in a box. There was not mushroom

What did sally get for her birthday? A football! Only joking she hasn't opened the box yet.

So my friends birthday was coming up, so I got him a new box to live in.

Claustrophobic people are more productive thinking out of the box.

When the Lego box says 6-99 years but you eat it in 20 minutes.

Life is like a box of chocolates, mostly dissapointing

I asked a pretty, young homeless woman if I could take her home. She smiled at me and said yes.

The look on her face soon changed, however, when I walked off with her cardboard box.

Bird box

A man had moved to a new contry with his dog and with basic understanding of the language. One day he heard people talking about a place for dogs, so he took his dog there telling he wanted his dog to be groomed. The man behind the counter responded with "yes happy dog, come back in little hours" so the man left and came back a couple hours later when he asked about his dog he was given a box of jerky he found out "happy dog" was the name of the place where dogs become food.

how did they know that princess Diana had dandruff? they found her head and shoulders in the glove box

What does a woman and Kentucky fried chicken Have in common? By the time you're done with the breasts and the thighs, all you have left is the greasy box to put your bone in.

Mary Poppins went to a restaurant and ordered cheese, eggs and cauliflower. When she left, she had written something in the complaint box: super cauliflower, eggs but cheese was quite atrocious. (Supercalifragilisticexpialidocious)

Q: why was barbie kicked out of the toy box A: she sat on pinocchios face and siad "lie to me

Kids are like a box of chocolates they taste so good and u never know what u are going to get

Why did little sally fall of the swings? Because she had no arms What did sally get for Christmas? Gloves! Only joking...she still hasn’t opened the box

What do you get when you put a baby in a box of razor blades, and throw it down the stairs?

An erection!

A man needs to leave for lengthy a business trip, but his wife is saddened by this. She explains to him that if he isn’t home every night, there will be no way to satisfy herself if she feels horny. The man claims that she doesn’t need sex, because a dildo should work just fine. He quickly runs to the local gift shop and asks the cashier if the store carries anything really special. The cashier quietly pulls out an old box, and removes a wooden penis from inside. The cashier states that the dildo has been passed down in his family for generations, and was crafted by a witch deep within the Amazon jungle. The cashier sits up in his chair and shouts “Voodoo Dick, the door!” The wooden penis flies across the room, and begins to rapidly thrust itself in and out of the front door keyhole. “Voodoo Dick, the lamp!” The wooden penis flies up inside of the lamp on the cahsier’s desk, and once again, begins to thrust in and out. “Voodoo Dick, return to your box!” The wooden penis flies back into the box and the cashier closes the lid. The man chooses to buy the wooden penis, and just as he is about to leave, the cashier tells him a very important bit of information regarding the Voodoo Dick: “The cursed dildo can only be controlled through verbal commands, it is far too powerful to be moved by hand.” says the cashier. “You must never forget that!” The man nods and heads home. Later that day, the man explains to his wife how the sex toy works, and then leaves for his trip. A few days later, the wife becomes very horny, and opens up the box. She proceeds to shout “Voodoo Dick, my pussy!” The dildo zooms into her vagina, and pleasures her for roughly 6-8 hours. She soon begins to grow tired, and attempts to pull the dildo out of her. She pulls as hard as she can, but just can’t get it it. The wife panicks, and begins driving to the hospital with the wooden penis still inside of her vagina. A police officer pulls her over for speeding, and asks to see some identification. The wife exclaims “Help, help, there is a Voodoo Dick inside of my vagina and it won’t come out!” The officer raises an eyebrow in disbelief. “Voodoo Dick my ass, bitch.”