Bone jokes
My cat is red and brown and her bones are crunchy, so does that mean she is a Kit Kat?
My friend wasn't laughing at my jokes, so I said, "Is your funny bone broken?" But he got mad, and then I said, "Do you have a bone to pick with me?" He tried to insult me, but I said, "Call me what you want, I got thick skin," and this story was down to the bone.
A skeleton decided to become an assassin.
He was always skull-king around!
I got fired for not doing enough work.
Guess I didn’t put enough backbone into it.
A dog found a bone. Then he was walking happily across the street, and he saw a bridge. He decided to walk on the bridge. He saw his reflection and thought it was another dog. Then he barked at him, and the bone fell in the river. The dog said, "What a fool I have been," and walked away.
Memes
Why did the skeleton cross the road?
To get to skull.
I've done a skele-TON of work to think of this joke. Trust me, I've got a FEW more jokes!
Skeletons love to be in band. They love the trombone!
I once met a skeleton. I asked if I could tell him a joke. He agreed. I told it to him. He found it quite “humerus”.
"Tibia" honestly, I think the reason I’m "bonely" is because you guys don’t find my jokes "humerus."
Maybe if I played the trombone it would get people’s attention, but "tibia" honest I can’t be bothered, so just look at my "BONE-zai" tree, although my brother doesn’t really like that one, so how about a "S-pine" tree?
What is a dog's favorite snack?
RUFFles.
"How would you describe a really bad skeleton?"
"Bad to the bone!" (Or "Rotten to the bone" if you want.)
What do you call a skeleton that does nothing all day?
A lazy bones!
Her Name was Lola. She was a loner. At the Copa I saw her And I just wanted to bone her!
Hey paps, BONE-appetit!
(Just eat your spaguetti.)
Why did the skeleton die from laughter?
'Cause they broke all his "funny bones!"
What did the funny bone say to the skin?
"You're not humerus, I am!"
Pigeons can be annoying at times, especially when their bones get stuck in-between your teeth.
Q: Two skeletons walk into a bar. What happens?
A: They fall.
(They walked into a BAR, as in a rod or whatnot.)
What is the skeleton's favorite car?
A Zam-bone-y.