Bone jokes
Beauty is only skin deep... but ugly goes all the way to the bone!
Why do skeletons like having sex with short girls before eating?
They like to bone a petite.
What do skeletons say before they eat?
Bone appétit. ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)
I was in an argument with a "friend" at school. He said, "Sticks and stones may break my bones, but words will never hurt me."
...so I threw a dictionary at him.
"Knock, knock."
"Who's there?"
"Bone."
"Bone who?"
"It's nice to meet cha'. Can we be friends? I'm bone-ly here."
A French Sans would greet you with the "o bone-jour".
What is a skeleton’s favorite singer?
Pelvis Presley.
You've got a body inside you. It's called your bones.
What happens when skeletons score points in a game?
They get a bone-us.
Two hunters are in the woods and one falls to the ground.
Terrified, he dials 911 and says, “Help! I think my friend is dying. What do I do?” The nurse says, “I need you to make sure he’s dead.” The hunter replies, “Ok, I’ll be right back.” The nurse is startled after hearing a gunshot. The hunter comes back and says, “I checked. Now what do I do?” The nurse replies, “I need you to make sure his heart has completely stopped.” She is startled when she hears the sound of a taser. The hunter comes back and says, “What’s next?” The nurse replies, “I need you to make sure his brain has completely shut down.” The nurse is once again startled when she hears the sound of a bone being crushed by what seemed to be a hammer. The hunter comes back and asks, “Anything else?” The nurse says, “Nope. That’s it.”
What is a dog's favorite snack?
RUFFles.
What's the difference between a skeleton and a baby? I don't set the skeleton on fire.
What does a skeleton say when it has a lot of stuff?
"I have a skele-TON of stuff to do."
What do KFC and pussy have in common?
Both are finger lickin' good, and after you are done eating, you have a box to put the bone in.
Here's a joke: Your life.
Papyrus: HUMAN, WHY ARE YOU SAD?
Me: I'm just BONELY.
Sans: Good one kiddo.
Why does Sans say "I got a bone to pick with you?"
Because he needs to pick your balls.
Why are skeletons so calm?
Because nothing gets under their skin.
At night, before I got in bed with my girl, I had 206 bones, but I developed a 207th bone.
Skeletons love to be in band. They love the trombone!