Body Image jokes
You're so skinny, if you take a bath you look like you're in an ocean. 🛀🏊♂️
Sometimes I look at my butt for a really, really long time, and suddenly it all becomes clear to me.
What does one saggy boob say to the other saggy boob?
"If we don’t get some support people will think we are ball sacks..."
You are so fat you tried to eat the word "edible."
Why did the Indian man eat a cow?
Because he wanted to be fat like one.
A fat girl was dancing on the table, and I said, "Nice legs." She says, "You really think so?" And I say, "Yes, definitely, most tables would have been broken by now."
You're so fat, no one was laughing, but the floor was cracking!
Yo mama so fat, she said the N-word!
My friend made this joke (so I’m going steal it). I’m surrounded by fat people, oh wait... it’s just one.
Me: If a skinny person goes skinny dipping, then what do fat people do?
My friend: Chunky dunks.
Yo mama so skinny, she choked on a SINGLE STRAND OF SPAGHETTI!
A patient visiting his doctor asked him if he had ever laughed at a patient.
The doctor said, "I have never in 25 years of practice ever laughed at a patient."
Reassured, the patient drops his trousers and underpants.
Immediately the doctor burst out into loud raucous laughter when he sees that the patient has a penis the size of a cocktail sausage.
After about 10 minutes the doctor manages to get himself under control.
Swiftly apologising he says to the patient, "Sorry about that. How can I help you?"
The patient says, "Have you got any cream for it? It's swollen."
Q: What did the DNA say to the other DNA?
A: Do these genes make my butt look fat? 💩
My wife wanted a boob job. I told her it was too expensive.
I told her all she has to do is take some toilet paper and rub it in between her boobs for a few days, and they would get bigger. She asked, "How is that supposed to work?"
I replied, "I don't know how it works, but it did a heck of a job on your ass!"
Yo Mama so fat, she has a Twinkie inside of a Twinkie inside of her fat ass motherfucking belly button!
A sailor drops anchor in a port and heads into the nearest pub. Everyone in the pub is whispering and pointing at him because of his odd-shaped body; he has a very muscular body, but a very tiny head on his shoulders.
As he orders his drink, he tells the bartender, "I'll explain. I get this in every port and town I visit. I caught a mermaid and she granted me three wishes if I would release her back into the sea. So I told her I wanted a yacht and, sure enough, she came through for me. Next, I asked for a million bucks and now I am set for life. Last of all, I asked her if I could have sex with her and her response was, 'I don't know how you can make love to me with your type of body.' So I asked her, 'How about a little head?'"
If I went to Walmart, I would be able to scan my own wrists because they're barcodes too.
In India, 3 things are wide and far everywhere, but no one admits: racism, sexism, and Sunny's jism.
Life is like a box of chocolates, it doesn't last long if you're fat.
Ex-Boyfriend: You have no ass, so we're through!
Me: Stop being a dickhead, dude!! It ain't gonna make your little sausage any bigger!