Body Image jokes

Your mom's so fat, when she entered a fat contest, they said, "Sorry, no professionals!"

What do you call a flat chested emo girl?

Cutting board.

Your mum (mom) so fat, she wore a yellow T-shirt, they said "Taxi!"

Wife, I look fat, can you compliment me?

Blind husband says, "You have perfect eyesight!"

Yo mama's so fat, when she walked by the TV when I was watching a show, I waited, and when she finally passed by, Netflix said suggestions: Hulu, and Peacock.

My arm has a different texture than the rest of me, lol.

What do rocks and girls have in common?

The flat ones get skipped.

We clap when we see you. We clap our hands over our eyes.

What did the fat say to the other fat? I am fatey.

You're so skinny, death mistook you for dead.

You're so skinny that the professor thought you were the skeleton.

My wife is so fat. I finally got up the energy to walk around to the other side. I found someone else!

My wife is so fat! When she goes swimming, she leaves a ring around the lake.

Aitana is so fat that Thanos had to clap for her to disappear.

What do you call a flat-chested emo?

A chopping board.

You're so skinny, you swallowed a meatball and thought you were pregnant!

You're so skinny, your mom actually enjoyed your birth!

You're so skinny, when you did your first jump on a pogo stick you would never come back.

You're so skinny that if I were to put you on a flagpole, you would wave in the wind.

Don't pick flat chests because they will turn their backs on you twice.