Body Image jokes
*text conversation boy: When you kiss someone, you burn 15 calories. Wanna burn calories together sometime?
girl: Are you saying I'm fat?
Yo mama was so fat, Huggy Wuggy couldn't fit his arms around her!
Your mama is so fat that when she sat down on the couch for a family picture, it was just her.
Someone asked me, "What are them scars on your arm?" I thought I was playing a violin.
Boobs are like batteries...
AA will get the job done...
C is bigger than AA...
D is bigger that C...
...and if they're square, you don't want to put your tongue on them!
Some girl just walks into my 6th period geography class. The first thing I think is, "Oh shit! It's mini Regina George without titties!"
I am a fat girl.
She's so fat that when she steps onto a wood floor, the floorboard doesn't creak, it screams: "Goddamn!!!" before it snaps from the weight.
What do girls and rocks have in common?
The flat ones get skipped.
What do you call an anorexic blond with a yeast infection?
... A quarter pounder with cheese.
What do you call an anorexic with a yeast infection?
Quarter pounder with cheese.
Yo mama is so skinny, she makes friends with a snake.
How do you tell if a chick is too fat to fuck? When you pull her pants, her ass.
You're so skinny, if you take a bath you look like you're in an ocean. 🛀🏊♂️
Sometimes I look at my butt for a really, really long time, and suddenly it all becomes clear to me.
What does one saggy boob say to the other saggy boob?
"If we don’t get some support people will think we are ball sacks..."
You are so fat you tried to eat the word "edible."
Why did the Indian man eat a cow?
Because he wanted to be fat like one.
A fat girl was dancing on the table, and I said, "Nice legs." She says, "You really think so?" And I say, "Yes, definitely, most tables would have been broken by now."
You're so fat, no one was laughing, but the floor was cracking!