Life is like a box of chocolates, it doesn't last long if you're fat.
I know five fat people, and you're three of them.
Friend texting fat boy: I know you're on the group chat. I can see you looking at my texts.
Me: I can only see fat.
Once, there was a couple about to have sex. "I have something to confess," said the shy wife. The husband then said, "Whatever it is, I will still love." The wife then said, "Honey, I'm flat chested." The husband said, "It's okay, I'm a baby down there anyways." He then pulled down his pants and began to have sex.
The next day, the wife said, "I thought you were a baby down there." The husband then said, "I am; 22 inches and 7 pounds."
What do you call an anorexic bitch with a yeast infection?
Quarter pounder with cheese.
What's the difference between an elephant and a feminist?
The feminist is overweight.
Man: "Is your body from McDonald's?"
Woman: "Why, because you're loving it?"
Man: "No, because it's fat and greasy."
What do you say to a fat Asian?
You got more chins than a Chinese phone book.
How do you get a fat girl to bed? Piece of cake.
Yo mama is so skinny, she uses floss as toilet paper.
Yo mama is so fat when she sees a bus full of white people, she thinks it's a Twinkie, lmao xd.
New study reveals that women slightly overweight live longer... than the men who mention it.
