Body Image jokes

So skinny you have to run around in the shower to get wet.

Yo mama so fat that when she went out in high heels, she came back in flip flops.

I'm so skinny, I could use floss as a noose.

What's the difference between my arm and my stomach? My stomach isn't ripped.

"Clap clap clap that ass, bitch, shake that cameltoe, let them see them pussy lips!"

What does Kim Kardashian and the ocean have in common?

They both have plastic in them.

Yo momma so fat that people jumped on her cuz they thought she was a school bus.

*text conversation boy: When you kiss someone, you burn 15 calories. Wanna burn calories together sometime?

girl: Are you saying I'm fat?

Yo mama was so fat, Huggy Wuggy couldn't fit his arms around her!

Your mama is so fat that when she sat down on the couch for a family picture, it was just her.

Someone asked me, "What are them scars on your arm?" I thought I was playing a violin.

Boobs are like batteries...

AA will get the job done...

C is bigger than AA...

D is bigger that C...

...and if they're square, you don't want to put your tongue on them!

Some girl just walks into my 6th period geography class. The first thing I think is, "Oh shit! It's mini Regina George without titties!"

I am a fat girl.

She's so fat that when she steps onto a wood floor, the floorboard doesn't creak, it screams: "Goddamn!!!" before it snaps from the weight.

What do girls and rocks have in common?

The flat ones get skipped.

What do you call an anorexic blond with a yeast infection?

... A quarter pounder with cheese.

What do you call an anorexic with a yeast infection?

Quarter pounder with cheese.

Yo mama is so skinny, she makes friends with a snake.

How do you tell if a chick is too fat to fuck? When you pull her pants, her ass.