Blue jokes
Did you hear they found a cure for autism? It's called Zyklon B.
Light it up blue 🔵
Roses are red.
Your passports are blue.
Now go stand over there,
In that very long queue!
Roses are red, violets are blue, it's really no wonder your mama left you!
She said you can twerk, so I put her in a tractor and put her to work. She got mad at me and said, "There's no good men," but I gave her a kob and equal pay!
Roses are red, violets are blue, I buttfucked Scooby Doo.
Roses are red, violets are blue, The children are fast, But Elmo is faster, Bow down to your master!
Roses are red, violets are blue, Old man Jeffrey touches the youth.
What's red and blue and runs up your leg?
A homesick miscarriage.
Why don’t we just call blue balls a cummy ache?
Roses are red. Violets are blue. When I'm taking out the trash, I remember you.
Teacher's pen is RED, our pen is BLUE, she is marking an EGG on my marksheet, left with questions and no CLUE.
Serial killers be like: "Blood is red, veins are blue, next one is YOU."
How do you make people mad? You use the wrong category. It makes them go red.
What cigarettes does Churchill's wife like to smoke?
Blue Winston.
Roses are red, Violets are blue, I've got genital warts, Soon you will, too!
Roses are red, violets are blue, all these orphan jokes have ruined this site. Fuck you!
Roses are red, violets are blue, You missed your lesson today, so you are gay.
Three unlucky jungle explorers were captured by a band of cannibals. Whilst being tied to three respective stakes, the chieftain announces that the hapless adventurers were about to die.
"After you're dead, you'll be skinned. The skin will be used to increase our canoe armada, and the rest of you will be food for us and our families."
This announcement was met with gasps of despair from the bound trio.
"There is one small favor I can offer you," the chief went on. "We'll let you choose your own method of death from what we have captured from other explorers."
Some of the tribal members begin walking by, displaying various implements of war and death.
The first explorer chose a crusty-looking musket. Thankfully, the powder load still fired, and he was dispatched without much fuss.
The second chose a knife and quickly drew it across his throat.
Both carcasses were hauled off by various tribesmen.
The third explorer stood there resolute and deep in thought.
After a few moments, the chieftain said, "There is no escape, you need to decide now, or I'll decide for yo..."
"Do you have a fountain pen in any of that junk?" the explorer interrupted?
Baffled, the chieftain sent two of his men to rummage. They came back bearing the pen and a bottle of ink.
When the explorer noticed the ink was Noodler's Baystate Blue, his grin spread from ear to ear.
Gathered round the explorer, spears in hand, the cannibals looked on as he was released and set to work filling the pen with ink.
Confused, the chief began to speak, "I'm afraid we have no paper, and even if you wrote a final letter, we'd have no way of sending it anywh..."
Cackling with triumphant glee, the explorer raised the pen into the air and began ramming it into his torso, nib first, again and again. He then fell upon the ground gasping a death rattle.
Horrified, the chief drew close as the man beckoned him for one final word.
"But why this painful death? When you had so many other more merciful options?" the chief asked.
Laughing, the man gasped his last statement into the chief's ear, "You'll make no boats from me now, and your mouths will be blue for months!"
What do you call a white man sandwiched between two black men in a blue sleeping bag?
An Oreo.
There lived a jackal in a forest. He did not get the day's food, so he was very hungry and wandered throughout the forest, but could not find any food. Finally, he decided to go to the city. As he was walking into the city, he heard some dogs bark. Soon, he found a group of dogs running towards him, so he rushed into a nearby house which belonged to a dyer and fell into a tub filled with blue dye. The dogs that were chasing him returned back as they could not find him. The jackal came out blue from the tub and went into the forest. Every animal in the forest was frightened to see a new animal. The jackal realized that all animals were afraid of him and took advantage of the situation. He called the animals towards him. The jackal said, "Oh my dear friends, I have been sent by gods in heaven to protect you all. I will be the king of this jungle." All the animals became very happy. Everyday they served him food and took care of all his needs. They came to him with all their problems and listened to what their king said. One day as the king jackal was sitting by the court, he heard a pack of jackals howling in the forest. For a long time, he had not heard these voices. He felt very happy, forgetting he was the king, he howled back immediately. All the animals knew who he really was and started chasing him in anger, but the jackal was already on the run.