New Blowjob Jokes - Page 4 - Worst Jokes Ever

My parents gave me a blowjob. It was a blowtastic time!

How does a gay man trick a heterosexual man into giving him a blowjob?

The gay man asks the heterosexual man if he wants to give him a "brojob."

Did you ever receive an anonymous blowjob from another male under the handicapped stall inside the public men's restroom at a rest area and did you have an orgasm and was it the best orgasm that you ever had?

Why do Roman Catholics always call their minister father?

because Roman Catholic men between 18-29 years old received a free anonymous blowjob inside the confessional booth at the glory hole.

What does a glory hole and a confessional booth have in common?

A blowjob is anonymous.

Why does a married heterosexual man want an anonymous blowjob at a glory hole inside an adult bookstore?

Because he doesn't want his wife to find out that he got a blowjob from another man.

What hype is this place out? Is it for the night? You cannot say what is a great night. I have a good night.

911 what's your emergency?

Me: Officer, my girlfriend is dead!

Operator: What happened!?

Me: She bit the tip.

Girlfriend: I just lost 5 pounds!

Me: How many makeup wipes did you need?

Two guys were walking down the street, and one of the guys told his friend he could talk any blond in the world into giving him a blowjob, any blond!

So the guy bet him 20 bucks and pointed to this cute blond sitting on the side of the road and said, "Alright, let's see it!"

The other guy walks up to the cutie and says, "Hi, my name's Dave, and my doctor just told me that if I didn't get a blowjob from a blond within three hours, the disease I have will kill me in, oh, let's see now, 22 minutes!"

She looked up at him with tears in her eyes and said, "You mean I could save you from dying right now?" Then she says, "Pull it out!"

Ten minutes later, the two men were laughing and patting old Dave on the back when his friend noticed the blond sitting in the alley bawling her eyes out!

So he walks over to her and says, "I would have thought you would be so happy for saving my friend's life?!"

So she looks up at him just crying her eyes out even worse and says, "I could have saved my dad!"

What's the best thing about a blowjob?

- The silence.

A man walks into a bar, sits down, and asks the bartender for 12 shots of vodka. The bartender asks what the man is celebrating, and said he'll give one shot on the house. The man said, "I'm celebrating my first blowjob. And nah, if 12 shots doesn't get the taste out of my mouth, nothing will."

Why did Anna give Carson a blowjob?

He made her.

There was this guy who asked a girl how much her hand jobs are. "$25k." How much are your blowjobs? "$50k." How much do you charge to have sex on the street? REPLY: "I would if I had a pussy."

Son: Dad, do you remember your first blowjob?

Dad: Ohhh yeah, I do!

Son: How did it taste?

Dad: Get out.

So, I was getting on a plane, and the pilot does his usual speech talking about altitude and what not with the microphone, and he forgets to turn it off, so after the speech I heard him and the co-pilot talking about what they were doing after work, and whatnot.

Then the pilot said he was dying for a blowjob and a coffee, so a stewardess ran to the pilots cabin, and then left about 15 minutes later, and the pilot shouted "Next time don't forget the coffee!"

What do you call nuts on your chest? Chestnuts.

What do you call nuts on the wall? Walnuts.

What do you call nuts on your chin? A blowjob.

Sarah goes to school, and the teacher says, "Today we are going to learn multi-syllable words, class. Does anybody have an example of a multi-syllable word?" Sarah waves her hand, "Me, Miss Rogers, me, me!" Miss Rogers says, "All right, Sarah, what is your multi-syllable word?" Sarah says, "Mas-tur-bate." Miss Rogers smiles and says, "Wow, Sarah, that's a mouthful." Sarah says, "No, Miss Rogers, you're thinking of a blowjob."