Window Problems A blonde texts her husband on a cold winter’s morning: "Windows frozen, won't open." Husband texts back: "Gently pour some lukewarm water over it and gently tap edges with hammer." Wife texts back 5 minutes later: "Computer really messed up now.”
How do you confuse a blonde? Put it in a circle and tell it to sit in the corner.
how many blondes does it take to screw in a lightbulb? 5 4 to turn the table, and 1 to hold the bulb.
Why did the blonde tip-toe past the medicine cabinet? The cabinet had sleeping pills.
What do a blonde and a doorknob have in common? Everyone gets a turn ;)
Why do blondes wear tight skirts? To keep their legs closed.
Question: Why did the blonde get excited after finishing a puzzle in 5 months? Answer: The box said 3-5 years!
A blonde, a redhead, and a brunette were all lost in the desert. They found a lamp and rubbed it. A genie popped out and granted them each one wish. The redhead wished to be back home. Poof! She was back home. The brunette wished to be at home with her family. Poof! She was back home with her family. The blonde said, "Awwww, I wish my friends were here."
What's the difference between a smart blonde and Bigfoot? Bigfoot has been sighted.
Do you know why you should never let a blonde handle grenades?
They'll end up only throwing the pin.
What's the difference between a blonde and the Panama Canal?
One's a busy ditch.
A blonde girl walks into a gym and sees a guy. The guy takes off his shirt she says "Oh what chest!" " That's 100 lbs of dynamite, baby." Then he takes off his pants she says "Oh what legs!'' He says "That 100 lbs of dynamite, baby." After that, he took off his underwear. The blonde girl starts running he catches her and says "Why were you running?" She said I didn't wanna be in there once I've seen how small the fuse was."
How do you drown a blonde? You tape a mirror to the bottom of a 13 foot deep pool.
How do blondes play real life jenga? By stacking humans.
To be the perfect German you need to be as thin as Göring, as tall as Goebbles and as blonde as Hitler.
How to kill a blond put a scratch & sniff in a pool]
What do you you get when you put 2 nuns and a blond on a football field? 2 tight ends and a wide receiver.
A blonde drops off her dress to the dry cleaners
The lady says, "Come Again!"
The blonde says, "No, it's toothpaste this time."
What's the difference between a blonde and a car door? The harder you slam the blonde, the looser it gets.
A young blonde woman fears her husband is having an affair, so she goes to a shop and buys a handgun. The next day she comes home to find her husband in bed with a beautiful redhead. She grabs the gun and holds it to her head. The husband jumps out of bed, begging and pleading with her not to shoot herself. The hysterical blonde tells her husband: "Shut up ... you're next!"
