Blind jokes

Why can't orphans play baseball? They don’t know where home is.

I made a website for orphans, but it doesn't have a home page.

Doctor: I’m going to have to turn you away. Orphan: But why? Doctor: Because I’m a family doctor.

Why do orphans like boomerangs? Cause they come back.

Why do orphans become criminals? To know what it’s like to be wanted.

Girls are like rocks; the flat ones get skipped.

What’s an orphan’s least favorite TV show? Family Guy.

If you hit an orphan, what are they going to do? Tell their parents?

If you hit an orphan with a car, at least you don't have to tell their parents.

Why did the orphan go to church? So he had someone to call Father.

What does an orphan call a family photo? A selfie.

Why was the orphan a big success? Cause people say go big or go home, he only had one option.

Why is it ok to hit an orphan? It’s not like they can tell their parents.

What’s an orphan’s least favorite store? Home Depot.

What do orphans and blind kids have in common? They can’t see their parents.

Why can't orphans hear about ancient Egypt? Because they don’t know what a mummy is.

Why are orphans bad at poker? Because they don't know what a full house is.

What do you call a virgin from Alabama? An orphan.

What is the name of Hellen Keller's dog?

NYAHHH NYAHH NYUUUU NYAAHHHAADUUDU!

Wife, I look fat, can you compliment me?

Blind husband says, "You have perfect eyesight!"

One day my kid with no arms came up to me and said, "Mom, what's dark humor?" I thought about it, then said, "Go wave to that blind person." He just looked at me, confused, but angry.

What do me and a blind person have in common after I look at Alfie's mum?

We're both blind.

Why are blind people bad at catching things? Because they never see it coming.

Yeah, so why can't a blind woman drive?

Exactly, cuz she's a woman.

A blind kid was talking to me because he was getting bullied...

I told him, "Just tell them what you see!"

What is the worst thing about dating a blind woman?

Getting her husband's voice just right.

I threw a dodgeball at a blind kid and got him out... guess I can say he didn't see it coming!

Who is the blindest person in the world?

A blind man handed me a piece of paper. It said, "⠊⠋ ⠽⠕⠥ ⠉⠁⠝ ⠞⠗⠁⠝⠎⠇⠁⠞⠑ ⠞⠓⠊⠎ ⠽⠕⠥ ⠁⠗⠑ ⠛⠁⠽."

I have no idea how he knew.

What does a blind man crying and an unplugged TV have in common?

Nothing can be seen when they get turned on.

Why is the blind kid popular?

He can't see the middle fingers.

She asked:

"How can you explain a yellow color to a blind man?"

What did the parents rearrange the furniture to punish a child?

Guess he was a stupid blind motherfucker 🖕 that didn't even know how to use a cane to figure out where they put the furniture.

Q: How do you punish a blind person?

A: Give them a gun and tell them it's a hairdryer.

How did the blind boy's parents punish him?

Rearrange the furniture.

What did Santa give the mute, blind, quadriplegic orphan at Christmas?

Chlamydia.

How do you surprise a blind guy?

Say, "Surprise!"