Blind jokes
Why is the blind kid popular?
He can't see the middle fingers.
What did the parents rearrange the furniture to punish a child?
Guess he was a stupid blind motherfucker đ that didn't even know how to use a cane to figure out where they put the furniture.
She asked:
"How can you explain a yellow color to a blind man?"
Q: How do you punish a blind person?
A: Give them a gun and tell them it's a hairdryer.
What did Santa give the mute, blind, quadriplegic orphan at Christmas?
Chlamydia.
How did the blind boy's parents punish him?
Rearrange the furniture.
What is the worst thing about dating a blind woman?
Getting her husband's voice just right.
What is the name of Hellen Keller's dog?
NYAHHH NYAHH NYUUUU NYAAHHHAADUUDU!
Wife, I look fat, can you compliment me?
Blind husband says, "You have perfect eyesight!"
One day my kid with no arms came up to me and said, "Mom, what's dark humor?" I thought about it, then said, "Go wave to that blind person." He just looked at me, confused, but angry.
What do me and a blind person have in common after I look at Alfie's mum?
We're both blind.
Why are blind people bad at catching things? Because they never see it coming.
Yeah, so why can't a blind woman drive?
Exactly, cuz she's a woman.
A man was about to go into the bar with his dog when he realized the sign said, âNo pets allowed!â He was about to walk away when another guy walked up with his dog. The 2nd man put on dark shades and said, âJust pretend you're blind!â He walked in with his dog, got a drink, then left.
The 1st man did the same thing, but when he walked in, the bartender said, âYou know your âguide dogâ is a chihuahua, right?â
The man said, âThey gave me a damn Chihuahua?!â
Why can't orphans play baseball? They donât know where home is.
I made a website for orphans, but it doesn't have a home page.
Doctor: Iâm going to have to turn you away. Orphan: But why? Doctor: Because Iâm a family doctor.
Why do orphans like boomerangs? Cause they come back.
Why do orphans become criminals? To know what itâs like to be wanted.
Girls are like rocks; the flat ones get skipped.
Whatâs an orphanâs least favorite TV show? Family Guy.
If you hit an orphan, what are they going to do? Tell their parents?
If you hit an orphan with a car, at least you don't have to tell their parents.
Why did the orphan go to church? So he had someone to call Father.
What does an orphan call a family photo? A selfie.
Why was the orphan a big success? Cause people say go big or go home, he only had one option.
Why is it ok to hit an orphan? Itâs not like they can tell their parents.
Whatâs an orphanâs least favorite store? Home Depot.
What do orphans and blind kids have in common? They canât see their parents.
Why can't orphans hear about ancient Egypt? Because they donât know what a mummy is.
Why are orphans bad at poker? Because they don't know what a full house is.
What do you call a virgin from Alabama? An orphan.
Whatâs black and rings the doorbell?
Stevie Wonder answering the iron.
What problems might a blind child run into?
A wall.
Yo mama so blind that when she played Fortnite, she got her vision back, got 'em!
Why was Helen Keller's leg yellow?
Her dog was blind, too.
A girl walks up to her blind friend who she had not seen in a while and says: "Long time no see!"