Black jokes
Why is the bottom of the sea so dark?
Because Black people can’t swim.
A black Jewish boy runs home from school one day and asks his father, “Daddy, am I more Jewish or more black?” The dad replies, “Why do you want to know, son?” “Because a kid at school is selling a bike for $50 and I want to know if I should talk him down to $40 or just steal it!”
Why is it that when I'm in school doing PE, it's fine for someone to say "boys against girls", but the moment I say "blacks against whites" I'm the bad guy?
What do you call a 90-year-old black man?
Antique farming equipment.
What can you give a white person that you can't give to a black person?
A black eye.
Why don't black lives matter anymore?
Because a harvester is more efficient at picking crops than slaves.
Why do Black people go to a confession stand at the Catholic Church?
They wanna know what it’s like to speak to a father.
What’s the difference between white people and Black people?
One runs from the police, one runs for the police.
If you really think about it, every market in Africa is a black market.
What was blue and black and doesn't like to have sex... The little girl in my trunk.
What's black and white and red all over? The prisoner I just hit with my car.
Why does Michael Jackson have such a hard time playing chess?
He can't choose between black or white.
Kid sees their grandma taking pills and asks...
"Grandma, why do you need to take all those pills?"
"Well, Grandma needs to take the green medicine for her headaches, but the green pills give her diarrhea. So grandma needs to take the yellow pills for diarrhea, but those pills always make grandma very depressed. Because of her depression, grandma needs to take the black pills, but those always give her high blood pressure. To cure the high blood pressure, grandma has to take the red pills, but those make her always very horny. That's why grandpa has to take the blue pills."
Why do black people only have nightmares?
Because the last one to have a dream got shot. (Martin Luther King joke)
I asked a black man on the street if a white person paints their face black, it’s considered racist, but if a black person paints their face white, will the cops treat them better?
Why are Black people getting stronger?
Because the TVs are getting bigger.
What's the difference between a black Jew and a white Jew?
The black Jew sits in the back of the oven.
Yesterday, there was a blackout on my street.
So I sold them.
What did Chris Brown say the first time he saw Rihanna?
I’d hit that.
Why can’t you take a Black Asian guy golfing? Because he can’t drive and can’t find his own balls.