Babe, I'm breaking up with you.
Why? I'm turning 18 tomorrow.
What do Jesus and I have in common?
No one knows my real bday either.
Why do candles like birthdays?
Because they can get lit!
What do clams do on their birthday? They shell-brate, but they eat all the cake for themselves because they’re shellfish!
What do clams do on their birthday? They shell a brat.
I went to the principal's office because I gave a deaf kid ear pods for his birthday.
At the age of 100, you get a letter from the Queen. At 12, you get a DM from Prince Charles.
When you turn 100, you get a letter from the Queen. When you turn 16, you get a DM from Prince Andrew.
When you get suspended from school for giving the deaf kid AirPods for his birthday.
Why did the guy's birthday party stink?
Because he was turning farty!
What’s an orphans lest favorite event : there BRITHDAY!!!!!!!!!!!!
My girlfriend was born on February 29th, so does that mean she is 2 years old?
I gave a deaf kid air pods for his birthday.
I got my husband a fridge for his birthday. His face lit up when he opened it.
I bought my son a wheelchair for his birthday—turns out he couldn’t get in it.
My friends were really annoying me at my birthday party, so I decided to pop a balloon to spook them.
Maybe going on a hot air balloon ride wasn't the best idea.
I called my sister a party pooper after she came to my party uninvited.
Grampa said that the only ones who poop at parties are the ones who don't get invited.
So I guess that means I was the party pooper at my own birthday?
So I got my sister shampoo for her birthday, and she stood there and threw her wig on the floor.
So I got my brother a jumping castle for his birthday. That bitch cried in his wheelchair.
I got my son a trampoline for his birthday.
The ungrateful boy sat in his wheelchair the whole time.
