Birthday

Birthday jokes

When you forget the pinata at the birthday party. The kids: "Aww man." But the emo kid just hung himself. Kids: "Yaaaaayyy." Parents: "Adjust, improvise, overcome, that is the way."

My wife is so fat! She wears high heels, she strikes oil.

When she sits around the house, she really sits *around* the house. Every time she turns around, it's her birthday.

For my birthday on September 11th this year, I just want a plane, but delicious, chocolate cake.

Yesterday I went to a party at my friend’s house. Everyone was dressed as birthday candles. It was a blowout.

What kind of birthday cake do you get on September 11th?

Three small ones, so you can have a flight of different cake flavors!

Why is 4/20 such an epic date?

Because it's weed day, Columbine, AND Hitler's birthday;)

My birthday's on September 11th, I'm gonna turn the fuck up and throw a banger! Then rub my tits in birthday cake frosting!!! WOOOOOOOOO!

Parent: My parents never attended my birthdays.

Birthday girl: Oh wow!

Parent: Anyone missing?

Birthday girl: Your parents.

Wanna know something funny? Well, there was this one time when my parents were talking about their marriage.

Then after the wedding, they decided to make a joke, and then 9 months later, I was born. My birthday (4/1/06) April 1, 2006.

A guy gives labor to a baby girl and a boy twins. The doctor said but the lady was like,

"Ugh, why do I need my husband to be in labor and I want a girl, not a boy, just a girl!"

The lady passed out 😵 and then found out she was in a coma. The man who was in labor died. The two babies got a nanny, an evil one. The nanny killed the babies on their first birthday.

How do Ephippians celebrate their kids' first birthday?

Put a flower on their gravestone.