Bird jokes
A swan, a goose, and a penguin walked into a bar... I ducked.
Why is the bald eagle bald?
Because it has no hair.
It has feathers. LOL.
What is a penguin without a pen? A guin...
It’s a bird.
It’s a plane.
Oh, shit it is a plane!
The early bird might get the worm...
But the second mouse gets the cheese.
What do you call a Mexican rooster?
Un gallo pelón.
B b b b bird bird bird, the bird banged your mom!
What do you call a flamingo with 20 toes?
A flamingo.
Why do ducks have feathers?
To cover their butt quacks.
Teacher makes 1 kid recite the ABCs and the other count to 10.
Teacher: You can kill 2 birds with 1 stone.
Little Johnny goes home and throws a rock at two birds. One dies. He gives his dad a concussion from the rock hitting his head.
Johnny at school: You can kill a bird and give a man a concussion.
What talks high pitched and can't fly?
A gay man in Iran.
Osama's aim was horrible. One of his angry birds missed and hit a field in Pennsylvania.
What do birds and planes have in common?
They both fly into building windows.
Why did the chicken cross the road? To poo in the toilet.
Damn, this new Angry Birds is fire!
Clash Royale = CR
Angry Birds = AB
Minecraft = MC
Talking Ben = TB
Clash of Clans = COC 🤨
My pet parrot had an accident and lost both his wings... he is being very brave about it though... he is totally unflappable.
If a stork brings white babies, and a blackbird black babies, what bird brings no babies?
A swallow.
Kid: Mum, how do you know someone is drunk?
Mum: See the four birds over there?
Kid: Huh, wait a minute.
Mum: A drunk person would see eight.
Kid: Mum, but there is only two.
What does a bird say when it gets sick?
I flu!