Bird jokes
Is it a bird, is it a plane?
No, it’s a 9/11 victim.
What's grey and can't fly?
A parking lot.
What do you call a woodpecker with no beak? A headbanger.
What do you call a two-dimensional owl? A Paper Towl!
Why is the bald eagle bald?
Because it has no hair.
It has feathers. LOL.
Bro, yesterday this bird made the weirdest chirp. It sounded something like this:
"Error code 6, 4, 4, 2, sound: bird call, failed to play, government drone 0, 7, 7, 5 requires maintenance."
Anyone know what bird that is?
Hello! Why did the duck cross the road? To prove he wasn't chicken!
A baby penguin sat on an iceberg. The baby penguin watched the Titanic sink.
Why do ducks have feathers?
To cover their butt quacks.
"MINE MINE MINE MINE MINE"
Teacher, there are 3 birds. 1 gets shot. How many are left?
Student, none. They flew off because the shot scared them off.
Teacher, actually 2, but I like the way you think.
5 minutes later
Student, there are 3 women eating ice cream. 1 is licking it, 1 is drinking it melted, and 1 is sucking it. Which one is married?
Teacher, the one sucking it?
Student, no, the one with the ring, but I like the way you think.
What do you get when you cross a cold wind with a feather?
A brrrrrrrr-d!
Why do ducks have feathers?
So you don't see their butt. *quack* (crack)
This lady has 2 parrots that only say one thing: "Hi, we're prostitutes, wanna have some fun?"
So she goes and tells her pastor. He responds with, "I have two parrots as well, they are always praying, and they have everything that a parrot needs to be a Christian. Maybe if we put our parrots together, mine will fix yours."
They proceed to do so, and the lady's parrots say, "Hi, we're prostitutes, wanna have some fun?" and the pastor's parrots reply with "Johnny, drop your beads and lift your heads, our prayers have been answered!"
What is a duck's favorite thing to smoke?
Quack.
Knock, knock.
Who's there?
Who.
Who who are you? Are you an owl or something?
YouTubers: Among Us in real life.
Bin Laden: Angry Birds in real life.
What is a penguin without a pen? A guin...
My cock, lmao.
A swan, a goose, and a penguin walked into a bar... I ducked.