Why dose a duck have tail feathers? To cover his butt-quack
What do you call a flying sheep?
A muttonbird
2001 Angry Birds was so amazing. Over 500 people in 2 birds.
Why did the researchers want all the shore birds high on marijuana?
They wanted to leave no tern unstoned.
Teacher makes 1 kid recite the abcs and the other count to 10. Teacher: you can kill 2 birds with1 stone. Little Johnny goes home and throws a rock at two birds. One dies. He gives his dad a concussion from the rock hitting his head. Johnny at school: you can kill a bird and give a man a concusssion.
I had an animal pun contest today. He started off by saying something-I don’t remember. Then I replied TOUCAN play that game. He went silent and my other friend barged in and said, “Don’t you thick he’s CHICKENing out?” I said, “yeah, just stop HORSING around!” He came back with one and I ended it by saying, “Ok, lets MOOOOOve on cow[now]” Welp that’s it.
What do you call a very rude bird? A mockingbird.
A flock of swallows were migrating south as a jet flew past them. "Why was that one flying so fast?" asked one. Another answers "Can't you see his tail is burning?"
What do you call a bird with no wings; Moa's didn't even know that exsisted
wath goos boo a caw wath no lips
Why couldn't an eagle do a barrel roll? It's oblivious, its il-eagle.
Why do birds fly south?
Because it's too far to walk.
a chicken is dellisis
A father asked his son, Little Johnny, if he knew about the birds and the bees. “I don’t want to know!” Little Johnny said, exploding and bursting into tears. Confused, his father asked Little Johnny what was wrong. “Oh Pop,” Johnny sobbed, “For me there was no Santa Claus at age six, no Easter Bunny at seven, and no Tooth Fairy at eight. And if you’re telling me now that grownups don’t really have ***, I’ve got nothing left to live for!”
Is that a bird? Is that a plane? ITS A PLANE
what's the difference between a mole and an eagle?
they both live underground, except for the eagle
What do birds and children have in common? If you shoot them they die.
The early bird might get the worm...
But the second mouse gets the cheese.
what do you call a waterfowl looking at you from around a corner?
a peking duck
It’s a bird It’s a plane Oh shit it is a plane
