i bet a disabled kid on a wheelchair that if he could catch me ill give him 1000 dollars he said deal and i went upstairs
pepole in 1912: titanic is unstopable even god coudlnt sink this ship. god: bet where is my icebergs
Yo mama so fat I bet that her fart can clear a room in seconds
i bet most of these mfs are white or not Mexican lmao, y'all really going at it with these jokes đ
i bet ur a child molester who got out of jail & is now sexualing harrassing kids such as addison! Will fuck off and get a life, btw ur rost r not fuckin funny there bullshit like ur face and ur hairline.
Jorden CalerendiĂĄ. i bet ur a child molester who got out of jail & is not sexualing harrassing kids such as addison! Will fuck off and get a life, btw ur rost r not fuckin funny there bullshit like ur face and ur hairline.
As Iâm lying down on the table for a radiation treatment, a small angel lands on one shoulder, a tiny devil on the other shoulder. And then the mind game begins:
Angel: This wonât last long. You are perfectly lined up. The treatment only lasts a few mins. Remember, stay absolutely still.
Devil: Did she just twitch?
A: No. She didnât twitch.
D: I think I saw her finger twitch.
A: Well, even if it did, itâs her thigh the techs are aiming at.
D: She wants to scratch her face.
A: Stop it! She can handle staying still a few minutes.
D: But her cheek has an itchy spot.
A: She can just let it itch. She doesnât need to scratch every itch. She will just have to think about something else.
D: Wow...that cheek is really itchy...
A: Think about: Flowers. Acrylic painting. Did the trash get picked up this morning? Her grandson Oliverâs smile...
D: How about a song?
A: Good idea!
D: How about... âNever going to give you up. Never going to let you down....âđ¶
A: OMG! You just Rick-rolled her! Sheâs in the middle of a treatment! You know thatâs the only part she knows!
D: Thatâs okay. Sheâll just repeat the words she knows over and over and over and....
A: Donât be so mean!
D: âNever going to give you up...đ¶â
A: Stop it!
D: Her toe! Her big toe! Did you see that? She just twitched it!
A: No, she didnât.
D: I bet it screwed up the test and they have to start over....
A: She didnât screw anything up!
D: She totally screwed the test up and they were more than halfway done. If they start over at the beginning, she will get too much radiation, and they will end up slicing her whole leg off!
A: Thatâs not how it works...
D: Or they just stop all together and she only gets a partial treatment and her tumor wonât get enough radiation.
A: They know what they are doing!
D: ...And it wonât shrink the tumor and the whole thing fails. And the doctor will have to amputate her leg.
A: No! No! No! Thatâs not how any of this...
D: ...And when they amputate, it will be at the hip and not below the knee because the tumor is in her thigh.
A: Stop this right now!!
D: âNever going to give you up....đ¶â
A: Stop!
D: â...never going let you down....đ¶â
A: Iâm not going to let you...
D: âNever going to give you up...đ¶â .
Techs: Okay. Thatâs it, Tammi! We are finished! How are you doing?
Tammi: ...Oh, Iâm fine.....
what did the adopted poker player say ? will you raise me
Kile: HEy asshole i bet you listen to trash 50cent how bout you get to quarters listen to him! My fav rapper is the best of all how bout you go eat a cracker you parrot nose fuck! remy: Im.. y-y.. YOUR DUMMER THAN ANT I BET YOUR FAVORITE RAPPER IS A CANDY RAPPER!!
Neona (đ): I bet you I'm not going to get that job at all!
Gwen (đ): Yeah well, I believe in you.
Neona (đ) : You got the job and am I still waiting for them to call me and remind me that I will, but I won't get it. Anyway, I need to prepare for a job that I won't get.
Gwen (đ ): Neona you just don't got enough confidents, you got to have it confidents in life. I know you will get the job I do now just believe instead of giving up!
Neona (đ) : UGH fine!!!
Gwen (đ): I'll see you at that job interview!!!! Put a smile on your face too!
Neona (đ): Okay...Gwen your the best!
Jake grabbed lina's thigh and said "WHy don't we have sex? I rly wanna see your boobs I bet they're hot." "Yeah they are." She took her chlothes of and he saw her body. "OMG GODDESS OF BOOBS, PUSSYS AND BUTT LETS HAVE SEX LOOK AT MY..." HE WOKE UP THEN CRYED AND KISSED HIS SISTERS BUTT SHE SMACKED HIM THEN HE TOOK HER TO HIS BASEMENT AND KILLED HER FROM SEX
Bet yall did not know Kobe had Blue eyes! One blew east and one blew west
I bet China can be the best baseball team. They took out the entire world with just a bat.
i bet when your mom first saw you she said oh my god this aint my child my child would look amazing
Superman and flash were in the living room pounding back a few beer flash says to Superman i bet you u can fly into wonder woman bed room and get the best pussy of your life so he does it when he goes back to flash Superman says to flash man that was great but my ass kinda burns
I bet you $12345678901234567890 that you didnât read that number and you didnât notice that a put a letter in it, no i didnât but you went back and looked didnât you.
The popular girl told me "I bet your birth certificate is an apology letter from the condom factory!" Two weeks later, She shows up pregnant.
... I guess her rubber broke too
Prank phone calls. I did this prank last week, I picked the not so big buisness and places to do pranks phone calls. Burger King. Jcpennys. and nighbors. I will tell you what I said. Me: "Hello this is...Zariana and I am from New York." Burger king staff: "Will we work in Florida." Me: "Good now I want a large cake with some salad...with some eggnog...and some baby food" Burger king: "We don't serve any of that ma'am." Me: "And I want it to go please!" Burger king staff: "Sorry ma'am we don't ha- " And I hung up on him right before he could say have. Now JCPenneys ordering. Me: "Hello this is Trina from south carolina." Jcpennys register: "Yes what can I don for you ma'am ?" Me: "Excuse me"? Jcpennys register: "I was asking if there is anything you need help with ma'am." Me: "Sorry I can't hear you...what!" Jcpennys register: "WHAT WOULD YOU LIKE TO ORDER MA'AM." Me: "I still can't hear you! Say that again!!!" Jcpennys register: "Ma'am can you hear correclty?" Me: "YES I CAN...NOW YOUR GOING TO BODY SHAME THEN I WILL GIVE YOU A 1 STAR RATTING!!!!!!" Jcpennys register: "No ma'am I was just saying tha-" Hung up. Next one was on my nigbores. Mrs. Jarkinson. Me: "Hello, sorry to bother you but do you know what this word mean fhermkrekm"? Mrs. Jarkinson: "What who is this?" Me: "Ummm...Mrs. Keris!" Mrs. Jarkinson: " So what does what word mean again?'' Me: " fnjfnjrfnjr!" Mrs. Jarkinson: "What!!!" Me: "fnjefnj" Mrs. Jarkinson: SO SORRY WHAT!!!!!!! Me: "Never mind!" Hehehe! Hung up on here now Mr. Morris. Me: "Hola Sr. Morris. que pasa" Mr. Morris: "Sorry what I don't speake spanish!" Me: "EstĂĄ bien ... di que no me hagas caso, ÂĄsolo necesito ayuda!" Btw I used tranlater app and I learned really quickly! Mr. Morris: "What does that even mean!" Me: "SĂ señor, veo dĂłnde estĂĄ su cabeza, pero ÂżcĂłmo se hace algĂșn libro? ÂżMe parece muy difĂcil? Jejejeje!" Mr. Morris: WHAT DOES THIS EVEN MEAN THOUGH!!! Me: "No señor, no se rinda en el primer intento de ballet! DeberĂa ser fĂĄcil ... di de quĂ© te quejas? Oh sorry I have to go!" Mr. Morris: "Wait but what does tha-" I bet your wondering how I got these phone calls rememberd will I recorded them! I don't how but I did. Btw Not spanish just learn really quickly.
heres a list of puns not all of them are mine
1.Smaller babies may be delivered by stork but the heavier ones need a crane.
2.Yesterday, I accidentally swallowed some food coloring. The doctor says Iâm okay, but I feel like Iâve dyed a little inside.
3. My sister bet that I couldnât build a car out of spaghetti. You shouldâve seen her face when I drove pasta.
4. Getting the ability to fly would be so uplifting.
5.Two windmills are standing in a wind farm. One asks, âWhatâs your favorite kind of music?â The other says, âIâm a big metal fan.â
6.Why was the cookie sad? Because his mom was a wafer long!
7.Why didnât the cat go to the vet? He was feline fine!
8.How do you make a good egg-roll? You push it down a hill!
9.That baseball player was such a bad sport. He stole third base and then just went home!
10.My parents said I canât drink coffee anymore. Or else theyâll ground me!
Your so short, I bet your parents left you at home most times when they went to the pool, because theyâre scared youâll drown in the kiddie pool.
