Why are orphans bad at poker?
They don't know what a full house is.
Women are like blackjack. I’m trying for 21, but I always hit on 14.
5 out of 6 scientists say Russian Roulette is safe.
Why did the lion always lose at poker?
He was playing with a bunch of cheetahs.
Why did the tiger loose at poker? Answer: Because he was playing with a cheetah.
Why is there no gambling in Africa?
Too many Cheetahs.
Why don’t they play poker in the jungle? Too many cheetahs
What’s Michael Jackson’s favorite poker hand? Jacks and 5.
why did the cheetah get kicked out of poker
cause he was a cheetah
what did the adopted poker player say ? will you raise me
Girls are like black jack
I always want 21 but end up hitting on 14
Why doesn't anyone play poker in the jungle? Too many cheetahs.
My wife and children are leaving me over my obsession with horse racing.
And they're off.
What do me and a casino machine have in common. It takes about 50 pumps to get to the jackpot.
What do you call a cow grazing a field with 50% grass and 50% weed?
High steaks gambling.
I got kicked outta the poker game They said i was a little*cheet-ah*
Life is like a game of poker, guys start by going with them clubs, ladies follow with a set of hearts, guys put down the diamonds, and before you know it you got a full house.
If you give a prostitute money you will go to jail but if you give a prostitute a klondike bar you will not go to jail I would rather go to the casino and get more money for my buck
True fact: Five out of six people think Russian roulette is safe. (Russian roulette is a game where you put 1 bullet in a pistol that has 6 chambers each person spins it and try not to land on the bullet to find out if you got the bullet or not you point the gun at yourself and pull the trigger)
Gambler
A guy walks into a butcher's shop and says "Sir, are you a gambling man?" The butcher says, "Why yes, as a matter of fact I am." "Then I'll bet you $25 you can't reach up and touch that meat hanging over your head right there." The butcher thinks for a moment and says, "I'm sorry, I won't take that bet." The guy says, "But I thought you said you were a gambling man." "I am. But the steaks are too high."
