Gambling

Gambling Jokes

Roulette

My friend loves playing Roulette, so I figured I would introduce him to Russian Roulette. Blew his mind.

Steak

A man walks into a bar and notices a steak hanging from the ceiling. When he asks the bartender about it, the bartender says, "If you can jump up and hit it, drinks are on the house for the night, but if you miss, everyone's drinks are on your tab for the next two hours. Do you want to try?" The man decided not to take the risk. He thought the steaks were too high.

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  • Russian Roulette

    A friend of mine loves to play Roulette, so I decided to introduce him to Russian Roulette. It blew his mind.

    Orphan

    Why are orphans bad at poker?

    Because they don't know what a full house is!

    Life

    My life is a lot like a game of Black Jack.

    I always hit on 16, then get busted.

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  • Jack

    What’s Michael Jackson’s favorite poker hand?

    Jacks and 5.

    Lion

    Why did the lion always lose at poker?

    He was playing with a bunch of cheetahs.

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  • Orphan

    Why can't orphans play poker? Because they don't know what a full house is.

    Poker

    Why did the tiger lose at poker?

    Answer: Because he was playing with a cheetah.

    Poker

    Why doesn't anyone play poker in the jungle? Too many cheetahs.

    Gambler

    A guy walks into a butcher's shop and says, "Sir, are you a gambling man?"

    The butcher says, "Why yes, as a matter of fact, I am."

    "Then I'll bet you $25 you can't reach up and touch that meat hanging over your head right there."

    The butcher thinks for a moment and says, "I'm sorry, I won't take that bet."

    The guy says, "But I thought you said you were a gambling man."

    "I am. But the steaks are too high."

    Russian Roulette

    True fact: Five out of six people think Russian roulette is safe.

    (Russian roulette is a game where you put 1 bullet in a pistol that has 6 chambers; each person spins it and tries not to land on the bullet to find out if you got the bullet or not. You point the gun at yourself and pull the trigger.)