Best jokes

What's the difference between 20 and 14?

9 to 10 years.

The best news about a pretty girl with special needs is that you can get her to do exactly what you want her to do.

I mean, she probably thinks receiving oral is like 100% blood sausage coming right at her.

What is the best time to eat dinner?

When you're hungry.

I say we shouldn’t do any jokes about dogs cause dogs are the best, but cats suck.

I'm so bored and miserable, that I have sex with my inflatable girlfriend every night.

The best part? She don't talk back.

See, this is the best thing about no such thing as vampires because I'd be the first person to say drinks are on me.

Health and safety tips: Looking at your hairline is hazardous. For your best interest, please look away.

Okay, what do you call that purple thing in your mom's top dresser drawer that she calls her best best friend for some weird reason?

Dad better look out from Bob, battery-operated boyfriend, hahaha!

Zis iz za best joke in za west: exsepz if zu put ketup in shawarma itz yo mama!

I had the best butterfingers yesterday.

I dropped it.

What's the best part about beating up an orphan?

They can't tell their parents.

Q: What’s the difference between a sleeping lady and an onion?

A: One doesn’t scream when you try to chop it up.

What’s the best thing about sex with 119 year olds? There are 100 of them.

My best friend is black. It really pissed me off when my mom sold him.

Yo Mama is so dumb, she works best when she is unemployed.

Q: What's the best part about working at an abortion clinic?

A: You don't have to buy dog food.

The penis has a sad life. His hair is always a mess, his family is nuts, his neighbor is an asshole, his best friend is a pussy, and his owner beats him.

He also stands up for kids who can't defend themselves.

Why does the Marine Corps have the best uniforms?

Because the Navy wants their bitches to look nice.

LEGO Ninjago - I like it, okay?

Which of the ninja would be best for an undercover mission as the person in disguise?

Kai. He just has to leave his hair down and no one would know it was him. He uses hair gel, as Cole has said a couple times I think, because his hair looks like fire 🔥!

One time an ant was collecting food. Suddenly, a wind pushed the ant into the river. The ant said, "Help! Help!" and a pigeon heard it. Then, he grabbed a leaf and threw it in the river. The ant climbed on it, and then the pigeon and the ant became best friends. But one time, a hunter came to kill the pigeon. When the ant saw him, she bit his leg and the pigeon flew away from the arrow, and that's how friends are, everybody.