When Caesar’s wife told him she dreamed he should beware the Ides of March, he scoffed and said, “What? It’s not like I’m gonna be stabbed 23 times by my best buddies!”
Why do rappers make great fishermen?
They always have the best HOOKS
Why do asses make the best detectives?
They always CRACK the case
where do you find the best comedians? in the funny farm!
Best friend makes joke about 911 Me my pop was a part of that Best friend so sorry Me my pop was the pilot of he flew through 89 floors
Q. Whats the best part about 28 year olds? A. Theres 20 of them!
I asked my nan if she wouldnt mind shitting in a bucket when we went camping, she replied why the fuck would i want to sit in a bucket, so eventually she did and i took the best shit i have ever had
What is the best part of being an orphan?
Every bag of chips is family sized
What’s the best part of stage four cancer?
A: there’s no stage five
my dad did in the attacks he was the best pilot for pakistan
Best friend :let’s get tattoos of our parents .orphan: I don’t have parents
Hi 👋 I have some good idea 💡 was the best game I’ve
I love you you too I love you you have a good night love 💕 love 💕 I love you you and your mom love ❤️ love ❤️ you have the best friends love 💕 you have fun love 💕 is it good you you have to walk home from school and walk walk home from school 🏫 I have fun at home 🏡
This joke includes potentially sensitive content.
daughter:dad why did mom do best? dad:nothing except pretend to love us and leave daughter:so she only loves my sister? dad:yep
What kind of vegetable makes the best receptionist? Cauliflower.
How was Stephen hawking best mates Siri and google
Why do butts always win at poker?
They always hold the best PAIRS
Here is a story, my best friend was Chinese, his name was Chong- king. I took him to a restaurant one day and he said “ I am Chong king. I said I know your name is Chong king, within a few minutes he just randomly died making weird noises and turning blue by every second.
Anyone know what happened?
whats the best part of the vegetable the wheelchair
