one day my ex best friend lied about his computer died when he left the call and watched youtube
The other day, my best friend flipped off the table in class. I thought it was flipping amazing.
So I stayed at my friends house for a few days and I was like omg why so I am going home because I’m going to my best friend house
Who's hitlers best friend? naz me
Are you for head and your hairline best friends because they look like they go way back
me: *opens a bag of hot cheetos in class*- all my friends: hey bro can i have sum- people i dont know: Pleaze lemme have some PLEAZE i'll be your best friend- people i say no to: (⊙-⊙)(⊙-⊙)(⊙-⊙)(⊙-⊙)(⊙-⊙)(⊙-⊙)
Okay what do you call that purple thing your mom's top dresser drawer that she calls her best best friend so for some weird reason? Dad better look out from Bob battery operated boyfriend hahaha
It's important to have a good vocabulary. If I had known the difference between "antidote" and "anecdote", one of my best friends would still be alive
My crushes best friend came up to me and called me my crushes dog 🐕 so then I say wow your an ass for calling me a bich he then looks at me wide eyed and I just walk away.
My best friend is an orphan and we try to have sleepovers, but his parents never say yes.
Me Friends-Evan-Did you do some dumb Sh_t-Me-Hell yeah-Evan-Did you get us both in trouble-Me Hell yeah-Evan-Will i still help you cause you are my best friend?-Both-F_CK YEAH
What was Pepe's best friend. Ballsack
Poor Bubba got burnt up so bad in a house fire that the coroner needed someone to identify the body. So Bubbas two best friends the three were inseparable agreed.. The first friend said hard to tell can you turn him over the coroner look perplexed but did so nope that's not Bubba. The second friend said he's burnt up pretty bad can you roll him over again the coroner didn't understand but rolled him over anyway, nope that's not him. Pretty confused the coroner asked how can you tell its not him by rolling him over? well you see Bubba had two assholes, Impossible the coroner replied. The friends said I don't know but everytime we went to town everyone would say here comes Bubba with them to assholes.
I have a short TRUE story of how i found out my brother was gay and did "it" with his best friend. when my brother was 12-13 years, he fucked his best friend and i saw it. i was like 4-5 years UNDERSTANDING what "it" stood for at the time. all i heard was "ahh" and "mmm". the only thing that traumatized me the most was when my brother moaned "daddy". i was so traumatized that i told my mother about it, she rolled her eyes and said, "he's probably playing a game with Evan". BULLSHIT.. NO YOU DUMBASS. he was playing the game "SEX". more like "GAY SEX". I even told my father and he said, "I don't understand what you're trying to say". I told him DIRECTLY that i heard my brother say "daddy" to his damn best friend! i actually got so curious, i opened the door and saw then doing "69". i was blank white after i saw it. i will NEVER forget that he did "it" with his own best friend.. NEVER forget about it. (just a btw i still have the image stuck in my head and never forget how YOUNG he was..) (he ain't no virgin not more i guess lmfao.)
(MORE STORIES COMING SOON =D)
Best friend makes joke about 911 Me my pop was a part of that Best friend so sorry Me my pop was the pilot of he flew through 89 floors
Best friend :let’s get tattoos of our parents .orphan: I don’t have parents
what do you call a best friend that smokes weed?
A pothead. Just because he's your friend, you don't have to support his poor decisions. Jeez, what has America come to?
