Being jokes

If I found BlessedBrian's jokes FUNNY, I would be just as retarded as HIM.

Hey Explain bear, how would you like to be replaced by #ExplainNibbles the hamster AI?

I don’t like to play games, actually. There is one game: It’s Barbie. Of course, I’ll be Ken, and you’ll be the box cum in.

Did you hear that Joe contracted Sugondese Ligma on his trip to Suggon, and now he won’t be able to make it to Saw Con?

Why do sumo wrestlers shave their legs?

They don’t want to be mistaken for a feminist.

Flat girls be like, "I will have breasts in the future." This is to all the flat girls: you will never get it.

My little sister that is 10 is so ugly her hairline can't even be found by Dora the Explorer.

Chemistry joke: Why did the Superman being normal people when a krypton was at him?

Because krypton is "stable."

God said, "Let there be light," and it was lit!

You know what would be the best last thing to say before you die? "No, you certainly can't." JFK's assassin certainly can!

I'm thinking about telling my daughter there's a ghost in the house. At least then I can wear a bed sheet at night and fuck her without her being suspicious.

An orphan goes to a family restaurant with her doll.

"I'm sorry but you can't be here," said the man. "This is a family restaurant." The orphan said, "This is my family," then pointed to her doll.

Nancy be like, "Don't do drugs, do cock!"

A cat in the desert be like:

YASSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

My buddy and I both wanted to marry a woman who happened to be an amputee.

Sadly, my buddy won her heart, but I got her leg.

Why can’t orphans go on field trips?

Because they can’t get their parents’ permission.

Why can't orphans be gay?

Because they got nobody to call "daddy."

I made this one up myself just now.

Stephen Hawking would be a good pilot because the aircraft would be the first to take off and land in autopilot.

Why did Jesus not win any Stanley Cups? Because he was cut from the team because he kept being pinned to the boards.

Me and my twin when we share a pizza: there can be only one!