Being jokes

Yo mama is so retarded, they tell her it was gonna be chilly outside, she went and got a bowl!

"If two sides in a battlefield read my book, there will be no winner."

Sun Tzu, The Art of War.

Why did the orphan cross the road?

So he can be hit by a car and be reunited with his parents.

What did the fish say to the other fish?

"I want my life to be H2O-ver!"

What do you get when you cross a cow with a fish? A genetically unstable animal that is impossible and would die instantly upon existing. If it could live, it would be a deformed, parasitic tumor that undulates through people.

If you are a banana, why don't you eat a banana?

Oh right, you'd be a cannibal. I mean a banan-i-ball.

I had a dream about being forced to eat a huge marshmallow.

I woke up and my pillow was gone.

Life lesson guys:

Remember, being healthy is basically dying as slowly as possible.

Why can't an orphan ever be a criminal?

Because he isn't wanted.

Doctor: You'll be at peace soon, sir.

Me: What? Am I dying?

Doctor: No, your wife is.

Roses are red, violets are blue, If I slapped you, that’d be animal abuse.

Why can’t orphans be gay?

Because they have no one to call daddy.

We got Spider-Man Homecoming, Spider-Man Far from Home, then Spider-Man No Way Home, considering society’s current state and how shitty 2023 is, the next movie is probably gonna be Spider-Man Homosexual.

One like and whatever you say in the comments I'll do, but one rule: it can only be 2-4 hours in or out of Gloucestershire and South Gloucestershire.

Warner Brothers have made a new Superman movie with Superman being black.

This new Superman's nickname is the "Man of Steel" but it's spelled s-t-e-a-l.

Why do orphans like to be robbers in cops and robbers?

So they will be wanted.

Knock, knock.

Who's there?

IBC.

IBC who?

I'll be seeing you later.

Hey, the biggest distraction will never be my tattoos in this facility if you understand what I am saying.

But in all seriousness, welcome to the biggest frat party taking place near the ocean. I am most likely going to tell my family this or maybe not, depending what's going down. I am very adaptive through different circumstances.

My proctologist used to be a photographer. He took x-rays and told me to bend over and say "cheese!"

My son told me he wanted to be Batman when he grows up. That little shit wants to be gunned down in an alley.