Being jokes
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If you are talking to an Indian and notice a red dot appear on their forehead, be careful of what you said... They are recording it down... Careful... (no offense) pure joke.
I got a new job at a trampoline park the other day. If I’m being honest, it’s got its ups and downs.
The bakery I worked at got robbed. They demanded the dough; apparently, it couldn't be baked first.
I fear my last words will be "hold my beer and watch this."
Why do seagulls not fly over the bay?
Because if they did, they'd be bay gulls.
If you're ever bored, adopt an orphan. What is he going to do, be kissed by Vedanta?
My friend Nickiya wanted to know what animal she'd be. I said that she would be a "Ni-cat-a."
You wanna know what's a concept? An orphan being homeschooled.
Some babies may be delivered via stork, but some bigger babies are gonna need a crane.
You must be depression, because you make me want to kill myself ;)
If I could be any creature, I would be a Unicorn because they are Beautiful, Majestic, Sparkly, Bright, Gods. They create Joy and Happiness everywhere they go.
Unicorns made my life better when I got to know them more. ^-^ They filled my life with more Happiness. I believe in the Unicorns, and they'll believe in me. I am not a Unicorn, although I am the Princess of the Unicorn Land, but if I could be any creature, I would be a Unicorn! :P
If Joey Deacon made his own company, it would be called The Joey Deacon Company; Walt Disney should have a run for its money.
P.S. The Joey Deacon Pictures logo would have some autistic people making noises to "When You Wish Upon A Star", with the castle being the Blue Peter ship instead.
Why did the M&M go to school?
It wanted to be a Smartie.
What would you find on a haunted beach?
A sand-witch!
"Hey guys, I'm a new jokester, remember my name as I'll be making a lot more!!! P.S. They will be much better than this one!"
How many hookers does it take to screw in a light bulb?
Must be more than 9 because my basement is still dark.
Santa and Bill Cosby's favorite quote: "Don't be dumb, make sure they're numb, and always use a condom!"
Them: You want some Lucky Harms?
Me: What are Lucky Harms?
Them: They're Lucky Charms, but instead of being magically delicious, they're magically malicious.
"I see, I see." "Oh, do you see?" "I see 1st place looking at me." "Hi, don’t be shy, just say hi." She was shy, she didn’t say hi. Softball cheers.
My girlfriend is 19 and I'm 29. We go out to eat in a restaurant, but the whole time I have to deal with being accused of being a pedo, being called disgusting and disturbed.
It completely ruined our 10 year anniversary.