Being jokes
What do gay people call fighting? It can't be beef, so...
Carrots?
Hoes be like, "I've been through a lot."
No, a lot's been through you.
Gen Z is most likely going to be the last generation who felt the pain of getting up early to catch their favorite show.
Why do orphans want to be gay?
So they have someone to call "Daddy."
What would happen if a dam broke when you are on it?
You would be dam unlucky.
Why can't orphans ever be criminals?
He is not wanted.
Why can't orphans play football?
Because they can't be on the home team.
Don't criticize someone until you've walked a mile in their shoes. So, when you criticize them, they won't be able to hear you from that far away. Plus, you'll have their shoes.
The pastor sees little Johnny sitting on the church steps. Little Johnny is fixated on something. The pastor looks closer and sees that Johnny is stirring up something in an old coffee can. He says, "What you got there little Johnny?"
"This here is turpentine, the most POWERFUL liquid in the world!", says Johnny.
The pastor shakes his head, sits down next to Johnny, and says, "Now you know that's not true, son. Holy water is the most powerful liquid in the world. One drop of holy water on a pregnant woman's stomach and the next morning she'll pass a baby boy."
Little Johnny says, "Well that may be true, but one drop of this on a cat's ass and he'll pass a motorcycle!"
Why can't orphans be gay?
Because they have no one to call "daddy."
I used to be a man trapped in a woman’s body. But then I was born.
Russians be like: "bfddrhnnkhsaxbjk speak English!"
Putin be like, Finland and Sweden are bullying me with NATO, the same NATO that can't even reload a gun! Russians are pussies!
Putin be like CSGO is much harder in real life!
Russia be like we're strong, gets ass beat up by a comedian with a hook nose...
#i stand with Ukraine 🇺🇦
Putin be like that boat is now a submarine!
(Pick-up line) If your tits are the Twin Towers... can I be your Osama?
Me be straight and bored.
Goes to my local bar which has a glory hole.
Out up spending the rest of the night there.
About to leave when, motherfucker, I realize I've been sucking a guy's cock this whole time.
):
Where are the best shooting ranges in America?
Used to be in schools, but now in subways.
My little brother is scared of ghosts so I won't let him watch Bayern today.
Okay, I may be strict, but I won't let Tapindowski give my son a heart attack. His shocking ghosting performance today is a danger to my family and I'll ask UEFA to investigate the matter.