Being jokes
You will never be as lazy as whoever named the fireplace.
Imagine being expelled from school for bringing a weapon to school.
Don't see why people say that babysitting a toddler is hard. You just grease the bathtub, put them inside with some food and drink, and go do your business. I guarantee you that they will still be there when you return.
If you stay in the house, you might need to use sound cancelling headphones too, though.
Chalie has an eating disorder, and he is shorter, so is his life, but he will never get a wife. He's a gay motherfucker who wants to be hit by a trucker?
Nuns be like: Can I spread the word, but check for you?
I was at school one day, and my teacher gave me homework. Once I got home, I did not do my homework, but I watched TV. After the movie, I finally went to go do my homework. I was almost done with my homework when I got to the last question. I didn't know the answer, so I asked the closest living being to me, which was my dog, and I asked him: what's two minus two? He said nothing.
Roses are red. Violets are blue. A face like yours belongs in a zoo. Don't worry, I'll be there too. Not in the cage, but laughing at YOU!
You're more likely to be killed by a cow than by a shark.
Without Ronaldo, United would have been: - Eliminated from the UCL in groups! - 13th in the league!
Without Messi, PSG would have been: - Still 1st in the league. - Better chance at beating RM in the UCL.
Who's supposed to be the goat?
BLM be like black lives matter everyone in this chat :). BLM= Bang Local MLFS.
What do gay people call fighting? It can't be beef, so...
Carrots?
Hoes be like, "I've been through a lot."
No, a lot's been through you.
Gen Z is most likely going to be the last generation who felt the pain of getting up early to catch their favorite show.
Why do orphans want to be gay?
So they have someone to call "Daddy."
What would happen if a dam broke when you are on it?
You would be dam unlucky.
Why can't orphans ever be criminals?
He is not wanted.
Why can't orphans play football?
Because they can't be on the home team.
Don't criticize someone until you've walked a mile in their shoes. So, when you criticize them, they won't be able to hear you from that far away. Plus, you'll have their shoes.
The pastor sees little Johnny sitting on the church steps. Little Johnny is fixated on something. The pastor looks closer and sees that Johnny is stirring up something in an old coffee can. He says, "What you got there little Johnny?"
"This here is turpentine, the most POWERFUL liquid in the world!", says Johnny.
The pastor shakes his head, sits down next to Johnny, and says, "Now you know that's not true, son. Holy water is the most powerful liquid in the world. One drop of holy water on a pregnant woman's stomach and the next morning she'll pass a baby boy."
Little Johnny says, "Well that may be true, but one drop of this on a cat's ass and he'll pass a motorcycle!"
Why can't orphans be gay?
Because they have no one to call "daddy."