Being jokes

Why do orphans commit crimes?

To be wanted.

Why is an orphan into worshiping Satan?

'Cause they get to call someone "master" and be freaky.

(insert funny joke about a dick here).

Did you laugh? Be honest.

As a son, I was starting to do pranks. I told my mom’s boyfriend that she cheated on him and she doesn’t want to be with him anymore, and I told him that my mom said that he had a small penis. He left my mom, and she was mad at me. I thought it was funny.

Then I told my friend’s girlfriend that he cheated on her with another girl, and the girl told me that my friend had a small penis. He found out and wanted to confront me in my house. I wasn’t home. My friend told my mom what happened. Then my mom said the same thing happened to me. I came home one day, I saw my mom giving my friend a blow job. I asked what’s going on. My friend told me, "Your mom is my new girlfriend," and my mom said, "This is the penis of my dreams."

Why do most orphans become criminals?

Then finally they know what it’s like to be wanted.

Being gay must be a pain in the ass.

Credit to omnom.

Stephen Hawking had a high I.Q., but still had to learn how to be disabled.

One day I was going home, and 7 married men came to me and said, "You should be proud of your sister." I asked why. They told me it was the best that they ever had, and we got your sister a trophy.

So I went home, my sister said, "Look at my trophy I earned." The trophy said "The Best Blow Jobs." As a bro, I couldn’t be more prouder.

Hi, this is not a joke. Please like, or I will be verrrrrrry sad! -_-

What would be the most heartbreaking scene in a dementia film? I forgor 💀.

In a thick Russian accent:

"Let's buy some vodka, pollute the earth with oil, and make insecure nuclear power plants that break all the time! Ah, yes. The mother land. A great place to be. Not like those stupid Ukrainian people who are living happy lives, they are crazy and need to die."

Orphan: Have you seen my mommy?

Person: Are you an orphan?

Orphan: Yes?

Person: SON SON??? IS THAT YOU MY LOVE?

Orphan: MOTHER!

Person: Let's go home!

Orphan: Uhhhh

*She was never to be seen again*

I would like to say Hitler gave two fucks about his people.

But quite Anne frankly, I'd be lying.

The Twin Towers are just like genders.

There used to be two, but now it's a sensitive topic.

Yo mama so stupid, you could not even be born because of her idioticness.

If laughter is the best medicine, your face must be curing the world.

Why don’t orphans play the game of hide-and-seek?

They won’t be found because no one will look for them.

What has teeth but doesn't use them to chew? The answer would be a comb or a piano, but technically, if you ripped someone's teeth out and hand them to them, they have teeth but can't chew with them.

As a son, I like sports, and I watch sports with my mom. So one day, we were looking at football. My mom asked me who makes the most money. I said the quarterback.

My mom told me I'm going to get a quarterback as my new boyfriend, and it'll be your new stepfather. A week later, my mom went out. I came home, and I see my mom making out with a high school kid. I said, "What's going on?" My mom said, "Look, my new boyfriend and new stepfather is the high school quarterback." My mom said, "See, mission accomplished." I said, "Yeah, job well done."

How do rapists justify murdering a young innocent human being?

Same way as pro-aborts, by saying "My body, my choice!"