Being jokes
What's the difference between 8 and 9? When you have the 9, everyone wants to be your friend.
Q: Why can orphans never be criminals?
A: Because they're never wanted.
I see a poor guy. Mini me be like- mama, can I give my spare money to him? 🤗 And my mum says yes, so I give my money and home feeling SO NICE, while MY MOM knows he's going to spend it on DRUGS. We go back tomorrow and then after we go to the same place and then I see him with drugs.
Me- what I think fck what I do 😭.
I be ready to commit suicide.
But when it comes to jumping out my window, I'm scared ash.
I remember when I was a kid, I thought the world used to be colorless.
I was kinda right. They used to not let colors in a lot of areas.
My cousin said being gay was such a pain in the ass and I asked him why and I said, "Cuz you get buttfucked?" and he said, "No, I get made fun of." and I said, "Why? Cuz you get buttfucked?" and he said, "No, turd." Then I said, "Wow, at least I'm not the one with real pains in my ass, bro."
Why does a straight guy act gay? Because he wants to feel wanted and wants to be BFFs with the hottest girls.
Why does an orphan go to church? So they can call someone father and be loved.
Why can’t orphans be gay?
Because they have no one to call "daddy."
Why do orphans commit crimes?
To be wanted.
Why is an orphan into worshiping Satan?
'Cause they get to call someone "master" and be freaky.
(insert funny joke about a dick here).
Did you laugh? Be honest.
As a son, I was starting to do pranks. I told my mom’s boyfriend that she cheated on him and she doesn’t want to be with him anymore, and I told him that my mom said that he had a small penis. He left my mom, and she was mad at me. I thought it was funny.
Then I told my friend’s girlfriend that he cheated on her with another girl, and the girl told me that my friend had a small penis. He found out and wanted to confront me in my house. I wasn’t home. My friend told my mom what happened. Then my mom said the same thing happened to me. I came home one day, I saw my mom giving my friend a blow job. I asked what’s going on. My friend told me, "Your mom is my new girlfriend," and my mom said, "This is the penis of my dreams."
Why do most orphans become criminals?
Then finally they know what it’s like to be wanted.
Being gay must be a pain in the ass.
Credit to omnom.
Stephen Hawking had a high I.Q., but still had to learn how to be disabled.
One day I was going home, and 7 married men came to me and said, "You should be proud of your sister." I asked why. They told me it was the best that they ever had, and we got your sister a trophy.
So I went home, my sister said, "Look at my trophy I earned." The trophy said "The Best Blow Jobs." As a bro, I couldn’t be more prouder.
Hi, this is not a joke. Please like, or I will be verrrrrrry sad! -_-
What would be the most heartbreaking scene in a dementia film? I forgor 💀.
In a thick Russian accent:
"Let's buy some vodka, pollute the earth with oil, and make insecure nuclear power plants that break all the time! Ah, yes. The mother land. A great place to be. Not like those stupid Ukrainian people who are living happy lives, they are crazy and need to die."