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Being jokes

You wanna hear a good joke, kiddos?

Gods being real. (Newsflash, all gods are manmade. THEY'RE ALL FICTION!)

Did you hear of the guy who was sad about being in a wheelchair? He had that crippling depression.

My cousin said being gay was such a pain in the ass and I asked him why and I said, "Cuz you get buttfucked?" and he said, "No, I get made fun of." and I said, "Why? Cuz you get buttfucked?" and he said, "No, turd." Then I said, "Wow, at least I'm not the one with real pains in my ass, bro."

How do rapists justify murdering a young innocent human being?

Same way as pro-aborts, by saying "My body, my choice!"

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    • I was at school one day, and my teacher gave me homework. Once I got home, I did not do my homework, but I watched TV. After the movie, I finally went to go do my homework. I was almost done with my homework when I got to the last question. I didn't know the answer, so I asked the closest living being to me, which was my dog, and I asked him: what's two minus two? He said nothing.

    For all those Simpsons fans out there, this one I'm sure you know:

    Abe: "It's rotten being old. No one listens to you."

    Lisa: "It's awful being a kid. No one listens to you."

    Homer: "I'm a white male, aged 18-49. Everyone listens to me--no matter how dumb my suggestions are."

    Why are there a lot of whites in hockey?

    It’s the only other job that involves beating something black other than being a cop.

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    • How many cops does it take to change a light bulb?

    None, they all beat the room for being black.

    What's one advantage of being an orphan?

    Nobody can make mama jokes about you. 🌚

    I have a confession. I used to be a Christian.

    Don’t bother me none, babe!

    Awesome! I much prefer being a Christine!

    “Hol up”

    What's the only good thing about being an orphan?

    All snacks are family sized!

    We shouldn't joke about rape, because rape is no laughing matter...

    Unless you're being raped by a clown.

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