Being jokes
(BILL is sitting in the waiting room, fidgeting with his tie. MR. SMITH enters with a clipboard.)
MR. SMITH: (sternly) Good morning, Bill. Ready for your interview?
BILL: (nervously) Uh, yes, sir! I’ve prepared a lot for this!
MR. SMITH: (raising an eyebrow) Great! Let’s start with an easy question. Why do you want this job?
BILL: (confidently) Well, I want to help your company succeed! I believe in hard work and dedication!
MR. SMITH: (nods) Good to hear. Now, what’s your biggest weakness?
BILL: (eyes widening) I tend to be overly honest.
MR. SMITH: (leaning in) That’s not really a weakness.
BILL: (smirking) I don’t care what you think!
(MR. SMITH pauses, surprised, then bursts out laughing.)
MR. SMITH: (laughing) Okay, you’re hired! We need more honesty around here!
What's the difference between your new girlfriend and a tornado? At first, there is a lot of blowing, and then your house will be gone.
What’s the best part about being a circumcision doctor?
The pay is good and you also get to keep the tips!
Why was Sonic fast?
To be rolling around at the speed of sound, got places to go, gotta follow my lead.
Why is it that a physically disabled gay white male will refuse to ask his boss that is an abled bodied gay white male for an increase in his paycheck?
Since he has a very big white dick in his mouth, that could be the reason why.
What say the child to the man? Shalom.
Man come later give the child: "Here, what you asked for!"
Child: "No, sir! I say Shabbat Shalom. I not ask for salmon!"
Man: "It may be the coin in me ear, hard to hear."
Why I can’t be skinny? I hurt myself for fatting. - Jenny
Hello please I want gain wait. - Jenny year later.
Well, I was gonna make a joke about drunk people, but that would be good for the health.
I’d make a joke about prostitutes and women sleeping with multiple men, but it would just be whore-ible.
What do the Twin Towers and genders have in common?
There used to be two until they divided into multiple pieces.
Roses are red, violets are blue, and if you're my friend, I'll be there till the end.
Being the first to move in chess.
It’s a white privilege.
At the job interview, they asked me, “Where do you see yourself in five years?”
I told him, “I think we’ll still be using mirrors in five years.”
A panic-stricken man explained to his doctor, “You have to help me, I think I’m shrinking.”
“Now settle down,” the doctor calmly told him. “You'll just have to learn to be a little patient.”
Of all the inventions of the last 100 years, the dry erase board has to be the most remarkable.
What’s one thing you can say during family dinner and in bed?
"Will there be seconds?"
What would Donald Trump be if he was Black?
Shot in the head.
What do you call a crowd of horny white women?
A field of cotton waiting to be picked.
You must be ice cream because I wanna lick you up.
I hope you remembered my name since you’ll be screaming it later.