Behavior jokes

What do an angler fish and a pedophile have in common?

They both like to hide in dark places, look creepy, and like to lure small creatures.

What do you call an annoying emo kid? A nuisance.

Why can't all guys be more like Kenny? He doesn't get all upset when his mom isn't in the mood.

What do you call a stalker stalking himself? A narcissist.

I came home from school one day and told my cat a kid at school said I was an idiot and told me to go kick rocks, so I did, except I kicked him, not the rocks, and I called him the idiot for not moving out of the way.

There's two types of emo people:

1. People that cut side to side.

2. And people that cut up and down.

The most efficient is up and down.

My wife said I didn’t listen to a single thing she says.

What a weird way to start a conversation!

I got told I'm too mean and that I need to think before I speak. So now I take a couple minutes and think of what will REALLY piss the other person off.

They say they'll stay, but I left first.

If you want KFC, pour water on a poor person outside our restaurant and film it.

I used to be in a special needs class, and the teacher sent a student (if you want to call them that) out to the hall for being late.

I asked her, "Why did you send James out to the hall?"

She said, "He was a little tardy."

I replied to her, "I thought they all were."

Why do orphans cause trouble at school?

So the teachers will call their parents.

They told me throwing babies was bad, but guess what I did yesterday? I threw my baby cousin down the escalator.

For some reason, when my mom eats hot dogs, she likes to lick and suck on it first. As a son, can anyone tell me why?

Even people who are good for nothing have the capacity to bring a smile to your face, like when you push them down the stairs.

An emo went to high five a tree, and it left them hanging.

What's the worst thing that can happen to schools?

Quiet kids.

So yesterday, I was at an orphanage, harassing children by twerking at them.

They burst into tears.

I was worried that they would call their mom, well... um... I got away.

Why is it annoying to eat by basketball players? Because they dribble all the time!

So if you are bored, punch an orphan.

What are they gonna do? Tell their parents?🙄🙄