Bed Jokes

Why did the computer go to bed? It needed to crash.

its rly funny read through everything slowly say im a man after everything i say. I went to the bar. "Im a man" you saw this woman. "Im a man" you guys married. 'Im a man' you guys bought a house. 'im a man' you guys went to bed. "im a man" you said. "im a man" she said. "im a man"

How do you know when germane people break into your house? When you can not find your bed

Where did the cake 🥞 sleep 💤 on the stove? In a pan.

One night I was sitting on my bed in my room, minding my own business. It was pretty late, around 10 PM. The glow of my laptop screen was the only light in the room. I heard a noise coming from behind me. It sounded like the door was opening, but there was no one else in the house. I turned around and found Mr. Incredible standing in my doorway, a stern look on his face. He walked over to me, slowly and dramatically. Then he leaned over and pointed his finger at my face, only about two inches away now. I was frozen with my back against the wall. Then, Mr. Incredible said something I would never forget: "Stop pirating video games." Ever since that day, I have never gone on a pirating website and have paid legally for my video games. True story.

aaron and ben meet on grinder [they have a drink and have sex they wake up in the morning in bed aaron says im so glad i got it out ben relys what oh just the HIV

When I go to bed... my mother comes in ten minutes later with a brick... and beats me with it.

There once was a commie called Ed Usually known as Ned He went to bed Got shot in the head Unfortunately now he was dead

So you know how sheets are always so tight at hotels?

Well i looked under the bed and there is a freaking room cleaner holding the sheets. all he says is "don't ask or you shall die"

Why do mountains go to sleep a lot Because they are high

What do you call a pillow that been on the bed for 20 years in jail A criminal 😃😃😃😃😃😃😃😃😃

What did the knight say when he went to bed?

Good Knight!!!! lul

I watched the series of unfortanet events 4 times all the shows 4 times, : me -crying - I am trying to finish the rest then my brother comes in and says it is PG, ( parent guidens) after that.... My brother called me a bAby then he pushed me off my bed.😭

you and jason in youer bed

I have a cow over my house spending the night with me because she has been out in the streets homeless and poor so my family force it to come and live with me at my place. The cow ask me where do I keep all the dairy items like the milk cheese yogurt and meat? In the refrigerator where do you think i keep on the farm with all the rest of those cows? That night we had to share a room and sleep in the same damn bed then she starting getting high and drinked some cow wine with titty milk and it made her shit all over the bed.