Why do tampons have strings? So you can floss your teeth when you’re done eating.
When you hide in the girl's bathroom so the school shooter won't go in there: 😃 When you notice that the school shooter is female: 😟
What did buttholes say after taking a dump?
Buttholes say what a good diarrhea dump.
My friend is gonna release an air strike. There has to be at least 20 confirmed toilet kills.
Little Johnny walks in on his mom taking a shower and slips and falls under her, and he says, "What's that, Mama?" She says, "That's just an old bear." He says, "He's a mean bear." She says, "Why's that?" He says, "He's got blood in on eye and shit in the other."
What's the same with a toilet and anal sex? Your ass gets numb after a while.
What's long, hard, and slimy?
A bar of soap.
Toto is at school and asks if he can go to the bathroom. The teacher says no.
Then, she asks Toto, “Where is the biggest river in the world?”
“Under my bench,” he replies.
A salesman rings the doorbell and Little Johnny answers. Salesman: “Can I see your dad?” Johnny: “No, he’s in the shower.” Salesman: “What about your mother? Can I see her?” Johnny: “Nope. She’s in the shower, too.” Salesman: “Do you think they’ll be out soon?” Johnny: “Doubt it. When my dad asked me for the Vaseline, I gave him super glue instead.”
What do you say when the toilet is clogged?
Oh shit!
Little Johnny's mom is taking a shower. Little Johnny walks in and asks, "What is that in between your legs?" Mommy says, "That is my keyhole." The next day, Little Johnny sees his dad taking a shower and Little Johnny asks, "What is that in between your legs?" Daddy says, "That is my key." The next day Little Johnny says to his dad, "Looks like the neighbor has the key to Mommy's keyhole too."
Your computer just went in my bathroom and took a shit because you put too much chilli in the bowl.
So I was at home, and I went to take a shower, and I accidentally walked in on my brother having sex with some girl. So I left. A couple minutes later, I needed my headphones to listen to music, so I asked my mom where she was. She told me she was in the shower. Our house only has one bathroom. Sweet home Alabama.
Better to cum in the sink... than to sink in the cum.
The other day all those toilet papers came by my house and asked do I have any crack candy. Naw, I don't have no damn crack candy or no crack apples. All I have here in the backyard is a peanut butter crack sandwich. Help yourself, and while you're at it, clean up all the damn doggie dodo that's everywhere. Thank you, Mr. Toilet Papers.
What do you tell your butt cheek when you need to use the bathroom? "Hold it in, so you won't get constipated and die."
Where do rabbits take baths and wash their asses?
Why couldn’t the toilet paper cross the road? It got stuck in the crack.
Hey guys, I use toilet paper.
So, I took a poop outside. When I was done, I wiped and got it on my finger. After that, I had Nutella, and I thought the poop on my hand was Nutella, and I licked it. I said, "Daddy chill, what in the heck is this crap?!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!"
