Bath jokes
Your hairline is gone because you never bathed or brushed.
This morning I woke up, then took a bath with some chocolate mud. At first, when I turned the damn flossers on, I noticed it wasn't water. It was all chocolate mud, and now my body is all chocolatey.
What do you call a swimming terrorist? A bath bomb.
A little boy and a little girl were taking a bath.
The little girl looked down and said, "What's that?"
"That's my little red sports car," said the little boy.
The little boy looked down and said, "What's that?"
"That's my little red sports car garage," said the little girl.
A few seconds later, the little girl said, "How about you put your little red sports car in my little red sports car garage?"
"Sure," said the little boy.
The little boy's mother was downstairs and heard this blood curdling scream. She ran upstairs. Once she got there, she saw blood all over the bathtub. "What happened?!" she said.
"Well, Johnny tried to put his little red sports car in my little red sports car garage...but it didn't fit...so I cut the back wheels off..."
You're so skinny, if you take a bath you look like you're in an ocean. 🛀🏊♂️
You're the type of person to wash your hands after a shower.
Where do rabbits take baths and wash their asses?
What do you call an Iraqi swimming in the water?
A bath bomb.
Dirty Joke: A boy fell in the mud. Clean Joke: He took a bath with bubbles. Dirty Joke: Bubbles was the girl next door.
Happy was a cute hippo.
Happy sleeps in the water.
Happy walks on land.
Happy runs on Savannahs.
Happy swims in mud.
Happy takes a bath.
Let's have toast in the bath.
At least if you're fat you don't need to put as much bathwater in the bath.
Are you a toaster? 'Cause I wanna take a bath with you.
Are you a knife? 'Cause you make me wanna KMS.
Are you a painting? 'Cause I hang you.
Are you the flu? 'Cause you make me wanna hurl.
Are you a newspaper? 'Cause you have new problems every day.
Are you the ground? 'Cause I'm six feet deep in you ;)
One day Timmy walks in on his mum in the bath. Then he asks, “What’s that dark fuzzy thing, mummy?” and mum said, “It’s a bush, every girl has one!” Then the next day he walks in on his dad in the shower. So he asks, “Daddy, what’s that long thing?” The dad then says, “It’s a sexy boy” accidentally. Timmy asks his dad, “What does sexy mean?” And the dad says, “Your mother, of course,” making it seem like a child-friendly compliment. Then the next day at school Timmy wanted to compliment his teacher. He walks up to her and says, “You’re so so sexy!”
I drew a picture of a whale in the ocean. My brother asked, "What are you drawing?" I said, "You taking a shower."
Why did Cleopatra bathe in milk? She couldn’t find a cow tall enough to have a shower.
What happened to the cheetah that took too many baths?
The cheetah became spotless!
How many skinny people can fit in a tub? I don't know; they keep slipping down the drain.
What do you call it when a girl on her period goes swimming?
A blood bath.
Yo Father, don't use the baptism bath. I cleaned my anal plug in there.
What?
The holy water gets all the ass off. Don't mind the white stuff. *clears throat*