Bath jokes

Are you electricity? 'Cause I wanna get a bath with you ;)

I just got a taste of Kingston, Ontario's only transgender restaurant: 664 Bath. A Dairy Queen who used to be a Burger King.

Dentist: Open up, sir.

Me: So... I hate my life, my family, my sisters, my dog, my cat, and I tried to take a bath with my toaster, but my dog took it. That's why I hate my dog. And my cat died trying to chew my rope; it choked... Yea.

Dentist: I... meant your mouth... so I can clean your teeth.

Me: :O Ohhhh, my bad.

Dentist: Do you need help??

Me: Yep.

Dentist: ...

Me: ....

Little Jimmy was in the shower singing "Dame Tu Cosita," and her mom heard it and went to the shower, and Jimmy's mom saw Jimmy wearing a bathing suit in the shower, and Jimmy yells "WHAT ARE YOU DOING IN MY SWAMP!"

Are you a toaster? 'Cause I wanna take a bath with you.

Are you a knife? 'Cause you make me wanna KMS.

Are you a painting? 'Cause I hang you.

Are you the flu? 'Cause you make me wanna hurl.

Are you a newspaper? 'Cause you have new problems every day.

Are you the ground? 'Cause I'm six feet deep in you ;)

Where do rabbits take baths and wash their asses?

Let's have toast in the bath.

A little girl and a little boy are taking a bath together when the little girl looks down and asks, "What's that?" The little boy says, "That's my little red race car." 10 minutes later, the boy looks down and asks, "What's that?" The little girl says, "That's my little red race car garage."

So later that night the boy asks the little girl if he can put his little red race car in her little red race car garage. She says yes, and they pull down their pants and the boy tries putting his little red race car in her garage, but it won't fit. Downstairs, the mother hears an ear-piercing scream and runs upstairs, flips on the lights, and sees blood on the floor. The mother asks, "What happened?" The little girl says, "We tried putting his car in my garage and it wouldn't fit, so I cut the back wheels off."

Two nuns in a bath.

I had a terrifying experience last night. I was alone in the house having a bath... when all of a sudden... I felt a tap on my shoulder.

What do you call James Bond when he’s taking a bath?

Bubble 07.

Why did Cleopatra bathe in milk? She couldn’t find a cow tall enough to have a shower.

Yo mama is so ugly, when she took a bath, the water jumped out.

What is the coolest bath bomb for emos?

A toaster.

What do you call an Afghan in the bath? A bath bomb.

What do you call a Muslim guy in a bathtub?

A bath bomb 💣

Why do Indians marry cows? Because they bathe in milk.

Baptism, a chance for the priest to bathe you.