I have a lot of money, but I don't waste it.
So people call me poor until they see my bank account.
Q: Why was the gay man fired from the sperm bank?
A: He got caught drinking on the job.
P.S. My brother made this up when he had no meds... I almost died.
What does ATM stand for?
Answer: Amy’s Terrible Mom.
😂🤣
I was at the bank yesterday. A lady asked to check her balance. So I pushed her over.
The police department made a new machine that will teleport you back to prison if you commit a crime. The police release 4 criminals: a hacker, a rapist, a serial killer, and a drug lord. The hacker tries to hack a bank. The hacker gets teleported back to prison. The drug lord tries to cook meth. The drug lord gets teleported back to prison. Now the serial killer decides that she wants to change, but when she sees a knife she just can’t help it. She bends down to pick up the knife and the rapist gets teleported back to prison.
What does an armed bank robbery and Michael Jackson have in common?
Someone gets hurt.
What do orphans get when they go to a bank alone?
Your hairline be lookin' like my negative bank account balance -1,000,000.
Me: Do you ever just walk into a room and forget what you were doing?
Bank teller: [eyes wide] Uhhhhh...
Me: *scratches head with gun* Man, I hate it when this happens.
What does the receptionist at a sperm bank say as clients leave?
Thanks for coming!
"Jimmy Jimmy, Yes Papa,"
"Give away my Money, No Papa,"
"Telling Lies, OK, Ima Check my Bank Account."