Bank jokes

The IRS came to this man's house one day and told him to come in the next morning to talk about all the money that's been coming in and out of his bank account. So the man thought, "Maybe I need to get a lawyer." So he and his lawyer get to the IRS's office and sit down, and the agent said, "There has been a large amount of money flowing in and out of your account, and we wanted to know if you knew anything about it." The man says, "Yes, I do. I'm a gambler." The agent says, "You gamble with that much money?" The man says, "Yes, I'll give you an example. Alright, I bet you $5,000 that I can bite my left eye." Agent says, "Alright, deal." The man takes out his fake eye and bites it. Then the agent says, "That's not fair." The man says, "I'll let you get your money back, or even more. I bet you $7,500 I can bite my right eye." The agent, thinking, "I didn't see him come in with a guide dog or a stick," so the agent says, "Deal." The man takes out his false teeth and bites his right eye. The agent then says, "That's not fair." The man replies, "Alright, I have another one. You're down $12,500. I'll bet you $15,000, if you put that waste basket on the other side of the room, I can stand by your desk and piss across the room into the waste basket and not get a drop anywhere." The agent says, "That's impossible, you've got a deal." The man starts peeing and pees all over his desk, and the agent says, "I got you!" He's laughing and happy that he finally beat him, but then the lawyer has his hand on his face, and the agent asked, "What's wrong with you?" and the lawyer replies, "The man bet me $100,000 he could piss on your desk, and you'd just love it."

Why are there no good Indian actors? Because all the good ones are trying to get your bank details over the phone.

When a person asked to see her balance at a bank, they pushed him over.

Why did the bank robber shoot the man with no arms?

Because he told the man to put his hands up.

Why did tube date electricity? Because he would light up when she touched him.

Why did the accountant fall off his bicycle?

Because he lost his balance!

I lost my job at the bank on my very first day. -- A woman asked me to check her balance, so I pushed her over.

Yo mama is so ugly, when she goes into a bank, they turn off the cameras.

Give a man a gun, and he will rob a bank.

Give a man a bank, and he will rob everyone.

My bank loves me. They told me my credit card balance is outstanding.