Bang jokes
What did Ron put in his diary?
I "Her-mio-ne" after I banged her last night.
My field trip at school earlier:
Little Timmy (angrily): "I WANT MY IPAD!"
Ms. Melina: "We can have it at school if you turn your day around."
Little Timmy: "BUT I WANT IT RIGHT F**KING NOW!"
Ms. Melina: "But we're heading back to school."
Little Timmy: "B**TCH, I HATE SCHOOL! I’M GOING HOME!"
Little Timmy *starts banging the bus window*
Little Timmy: "THAT’S IT, I F**KING HATE SCHOOL! I’M GOING TO CANADA!"
Ms. Melina: "TIMMY, STOP IT! THE SCHOOL IS GONNA MAKE YOU PAY FOR THAT WINDOW IF YOU BREAK IT!"
Me: "Let’s just tell his family to move to Shadow Bay anyways because Red Oaks would be so f**king good for him."
*Window breaks*
Ms. Melina: "STOP THAT RIGHT F**KING NOW!"
Little Timmy: "BUT JEFFY AND JUNIOR ARE PICKING ME UP AND TAKING ME TO F**KING CANADA RIGHT NOW! LEAVE ME THE F**K ALONE!"
Ms. Melina: "THAT’S IT TIMMY, YOU'RE SO F**KING BUSTED! I’M CALLING MS. ALEJANDRA RIGHT NOW!"
The end.
Sometimes I just want to toss a flash bang into a room full of epileptic kids.
A drunk guy runs into a bar... He bangs his head and falls down, why?
Because he is in a prison cell.
Yo momma so fat, when she farted the Big Bang occurred.
If you buy two condoms, but you're banging a woman, it's fine, don't throw it away, just make her transgender.
I dunno man, worked for me.
BLM = Bang local MILFs.
What should you do after banging the tightest pussy?..
Just put the diaper on her 😉
What did the pimp order at the Chinese restaurant?
He ordered some cock-bang-ho.
"Go big or go home," that’s what some people say.
"Go loud and proud," that’s what other people say.
"Go out with a big, loud bang!" that’s what I say.
I have a friend of mine from school. I always see them with bangs, so I never knew what their forehead looked like until one day they came... Their forehead was bigger than Mount Everest, that you can make an entire Olympics mountain climbing audition on that forehead! :)
What did Nicki Minaj say when she sat next to a bomb?
"Bang bang right through the roof. Bang bang all over you."
You know how we all have different sides? Well, I have a suicidal side. (Here a bang in the next room.) Oh well, not anymore :)
Have you ever wondered how your teachers would look if they were 20 years younger than they actually are? I bet some of them would be smoking hot. Especially my 25-year-old English teacher. I'd bang her if she were 20 years younger.
Women are like towers, the man wants to bang them both.
Twitter just blew my mind.
I was having a blast until I ended the stream with a bang!
There was a man who had just moved from a foreign country. He just moved into his apartment and was watching his favorite TV shows. The first one was "me-me-me, me-me-me, me-me-me-me-me-me-me," the second one was "forks and knives, forks and knives, all I use is forks and knives," and the last one was "BRING IT ON, FAT MAN!!"
There had been a murder in the area, and the man was walking in the park when a cop showed up and asked him, "Sir, have you seen this man?" and held up a photo. The man said "me-me-me, me-me-me, me-me-me-me-me-me-me." The cop said, "Sir, what did you use?" and the man said "forks and knives, forks and knives, all I use is forks and knives." After that, the cop said, "Sir, I'm going to have to arrest you," and the man said "BRING IT ON, FAT MAN!!" The screen goes black, and all you can here "chk-chk. BANG"
When you're banging the class slut and the school shooter says to leave his corpses alone.
How did the Shaggy defense become successful for JD Vance?
He was not banging on the sofa. Rather, he was banging the sofa!
Him: Hey girl, do you have pet insurance?
Her: Yes, why do you ask?
Him: Cuz I'm going to bang that pussy up!