Band jokes
Your hairline goes so far back it remembers the big band.
I love Little Mix.
What do you call a mariachi band sinking in Mayonnaise?
Cinco De Mayo.
What do you call a band made of cheese?
Grate That!
What is a Mexican’s favorite band?
Twenty Juan Pilots.
Two people are under the covers. The man says, "Quote the Beatles: Come together!"
Why did Michael Jackson call Boyz II Men? He thought they were a delivery service.
A horse, a fox, and a bunny join together and make a rock band. They started doing tiny gigs, but they got famous and went on tour. They all got so famous it went to their heads, and the band disbanded. The fox made his, and the bunny made her own. The horse was sad that the band was no more, so he went to a bar, and the bartender asked why the long face?
Did you hear that Daft Punk came out with a cook book?
It's called "One More Thyme."
I had a broken vacuum, then I put a One Direction sticker on it and it suddenly sucked again.
What do you call Mexicans in a band trying to be a white band?
"Juan Direction."
What rock group has four men that don't sing? -- Mount Rushmore.
Did you hear about the band Manhole? I hear they're a metal cover.
Why didn't the drummer play?
Because he got a percussion.
Yo momma's so ugly that she made One Direction turn into the Other Directions.
One Erection would be a very nice name for a gay band.
Bob: usudgbhdkb g
Ham: usudgbhdkb g
Three unlucky jungle explorers were captured by a band of cannibals. Whilst being tied to three respective stakes, the chieftain announces that the hapless adventurers were about to die.
"After you're dead, you'll be skinned. The skin will be used to increase our canoe armada, and the rest of you will be food for us and our families."
This announcement was met with gasps of despair from the bound trio.
"There is one small favor I can offer you," the chief went on. "We'll let you choose your own method of death from what we have captured from other explorers."
Some of the tribal members begin walking by, displaying various implements of war and death.
The first explorer chose a crusty-looking musket. Thankfully, the powder load still fired, and he was dispatched without much fuss.
The second chose a knife and quickly drew it across his throat.
Both carcasses were hauled off by various tribesmen.
The third explorer stood there resolute and deep in thought.
After a few moments, the chieftain said, "There is no escape, you need to decide now, or I'll decide for yo..."
"Do you have a fountain pen in any of that junk?" the explorer interrupted?
Baffled, the chieftain sent two of his men to rummage. They came back bearing the pen and a bottle of ink.
When the explorer noticed the ink was Noodler's Baystate Blue, his grin spread from ear to ear.
Gathered round the explorer, spears in hand, the cannibals looked on as he was released and set to work filling the pen with ink.
Confused, the chief began to speak, "I'm afraid we have no paper, and even if you wrote a final letter, we'd have no way of sending it anywh..."
Cackling with triumphant glee, the explorer raised the pen into the air and began ramming it into his torso, nib first, again and again. He then fell upon the ground gasping a death rattle.
Horrified, the chief drew close as the man beckoned him for one final word.
"But why this painful death? When you had so many other more merciful options?" the chief asked.
Laughing, the man gasped his last statement into the chief's ear, "You'll make no boats from me now, and your mouths will be blue for months!"
How do emo bands prepare for their shows?
They self-harmonize.
What concert costs 45 cents? -- 50 Cent feat. Nickelback.