Band jokes

Why do girls wear classic rock T-shirts? Because they are stupid little bitches who need to grow some fashion sense because wearing old shit doesn't make you unique.

Have you heard of Imagine Dragons (the band)? Imagine dragging these nuts across your face.

What’s an emo's favorite singer?

Slash.

Yo mama so ugly, she made the band One Direction go the other direction!

Do you know Imagine Dragons? Imagine dragon these nuts across your face!

Me and my friends are going to create a Steps tribute band. We are all in wheelchairs, so we are going to be called "Ramps."

What’s the only positive thing about Freddie Mercury’s death?

The HIV test results.

The bands Def Leppard and Blind Melon did a collaboration.

They called the song “Helen Keller.”

If you hate what you hear from Nickelback, at least you can get your nickel back.

If you have to deal with the noise from Deftones... unfortunately, not only are you unable to obtain any refund, but you may have become permanently deaf.

Look, Bono is a great guy, but shopping with him is a pain, because he still hasn't found what he is looking for.

I love Little Mix.

Why didn't the drummer play?

Because he got a percussion.

I play saxophone, and I like to tell everyone I am a registered s/o (short for saxophone operator) in hopes of one day starting a jazz band, but now everyone looks at me weird, and when I go to house parties to perform, everyone hides their children, but little do they know I LOVE children. For some reason, I got multiple restraining orders because I said, “I want to touch the kids so they can one day become musicians themselves... like Michael Jackson.” I have then since moved from my hometown to Florida, where I can meet up with other s/o’s, and surprisingly, they have similar stories to me, but they say they have never even touched a saxophone, but they do like touching kids, which I’m all down for, just me and my buddies showing the new youth their abilities.

Update: i figured out what they meant by s/o is not the same as my s/o :(

I’d like to be a One Direction poster because I want to be nailed to the wall by a teenage girl ;)

I'm taking a guitar lesson at school. My band instructor told me he was going to hit me with my guitar. I asked him if that was a fret.

What do Marshall Tucker Band and Kobe Bryant have in common?

Their last big hit was "Fire on the Mountain."

How do emo bands prepare for their shows?

They self-harmonize.

What instrument do orphans play?

The sax alone.

Roses are red, violets are blue, when The Oh Hellos saw you they said "Shoo!"

What do you call a band made of cheese?

Grate That!