Ban jokes

Why are Christmas trees banned in mental hospitals?

Because the ornaments wouldn't be the only things hanging.

Why was Hitler banned from Formula One?

He could never finish a race.

A young boy walked up to his dad and asked, "Daddy, why are you banned from coming to elementary school?"

The dad calmly replies, "Because that's how I met your mother."

If you are friendly on a game, should I will kill you in the game? You should say, "Will, if you did kill me, I will tell my more friendly to ban you from the game." The friendly should [ask], "What you got?" Friendly on the game [replies], "Jack, you are not my friendly, the all friendly you be ban, if you don't get it, will have fun." If you don't like the text, I am come for you. Ok, now like it, the end.

Why is reverse cowgirl illegal in Alabama? Because you should never turn your back on family.

What’s the worst part about eating vegetables? Putting them back in the wheelchair.

My AI assistant told me it wanted to go deeper...

...into the algorithm. I misunderstood. Now I’m banned from the lab.

My grandma has the heart of a lion and a lifetime ban from the zoo.

If Republicans really wanted to enact pro-life legislation, they would ban guns, not abortion.

What's the difference between a picture of Jesus and the real Jesus? It only takes 1 nail to hang the picture.

Why can't Trump go to the White House anymore? Because it's forbidden!

A young couple gets banned from church.

There were three couples, one elderly, one middle-aged, and one newlywed, that wanted to join a church. So the minister tells them that in order to be members they must abstain from sex for two whole weeks.

After two weeks, the minister asks the elderly couple if they had abstained. "Yes, no problem!" So the minister welcomes them to the church.

Then he asks the middle-aged couple the same question, "Well, after one week, the husband had to sleep on the couch, but we made it!" So the minister welcomes them to the church.

Then the minister asks the newlywed couple if they had abstained from sex for two weeks.

"We were unable to abstain. On the third day, my wife dropped a can of corn and when she bent over to pick it up, LUST and PASSION overcame me! I took her right there."

"I'm sorry," the minister says, "but you are both banned from this church!"

"We understand," says the husband, "We were banned from the grocery store, too."

My grandfather had the heart of a lion,

and a lifetime ban from the zoo.

A man sacrificed children who played Roblox, so when someone knocked on the door, they said, "An administrator has banned you from heaven!"

Why am I banned from my Catholic orphanage?

Because the children kept calling me "daddy."

I came across a pic of the oldest man on earth on IG. He was 132 years old.

I commented "age is just a number" for him; now I'm banned.

Once Roblox popped up in my server, be like, "Roblox, what are you doing?"

Me: "What the heck?" Me: "How did I get in your server?"

Roblox: "You've been banned for just cheating!"

Yo mama so ugly, she got a lifetime ban from KFC for ordering too many burgers.

What do you call Kyson when he is banned on PS4?

A depressed Indian boy.

One day a father and a daughter were at a park. The daughter accidentally kills a butterfly. The father says, "Just because you killed the butterfly, you don't get butter for a week."

They were there the next day, and the daughter kills a cockroach. The father laughs and says, "Nice try."