Bad jokes
What do you call a stupid turtle?
Retorted.
What excuse can you use if you find out your date is a rape victim and you don't want the baggage?
Say you've parked your car in a bad spot and are just going to move it, then move your car all the way back to your home address.
Why was Helen Keller so bad at driving?
Because she's a woman.
Say what you want about Hitler, he wasn’t all that bad. After all, he killed Hitler.
What is the difference between Black people and coal?
It’s bad for the environment to burn coal.
I feel bad for the people who were born on April 1.
Their life is a joke.
Why is the UK bad at chess? Because they already lost their queen.
My mom gives me your stuff because you have bad grades.
Me: How about my 5 little brothers? I have A's; he has F's.
She lets him play anyway and I don't.
*True story*
I saw this guy with a very bad hairline who was painting himself blue and it said "Smurf Paint," but I shouted, "Megamind!"
Yo, barber fucked up so bad he pulled out a "Plants vs. Zombies" map and that shii fit perfectly.
Yo, barber fucked up so bad he had to get a breathalyzer test.
Why are orphans so bad at baseball?
Because they can’t find home.
Sometimes I look back at everything bad I have done. I tell myself it's ok, they're just telling me to keep myself safe :)
That's it, it wasn't a joke.
Why is an orphan bad at tennis?
'Cause he couldn't get any love.
Your hairline is so bad when you need a role model who has been having a tough life, you go to your barber.
I feel bad for all American Clash Royale players.
They always start with two towers downed.
What is the difference between white people and coal?
It’s bad for the environment to burn coal.
Why are orphans so bad at baseball?
Because they can’t get a home run.
Your hairline is so bad, when people see the back of your head they say "nice beard!"
I would've made a joke about Alzheimer's, too bad I forgot about it...