Bad jokes
What do you call a stupid turtle?
Retorted.
What excuse can you use if you find out your date is a rape victim and you don't want the baggage?
Say you've parked your car in a bad spot and are just going to move it, then move your car all the way back to your home address.
Why did the man cut down the tree? Because it was there. 👨🪚🌲
Why didn't the man cut down the tree? Because it wasn't there. 😕🪚!?️
Why did the tree cut down the man? Because it was a bad tree. 🌲🪚😮
This pun is so bad you're gonna punch me.
I would've made a joke about Alzheimer's, too bad I forgot about it...
It's 5050
Your hairline is so bad, when people see the back of your head they say "nice beard!"
Why is an orphan bad at tennis?
'Cause he couldn't get any love.
Two friends were hanging out with each other next to a tree.
Too bad only one was standing. :)
What do you call a downy who can't get a girlfriend?
Down bad.
It's a grave mistake to talk badly about the death.
My 1 year old nephew had a stroke. I know, sounds bad... but he would have needed to learn how to speak and walk anyways.
Why are Amoebas so bad at math?
Because, when they need to multiply, they divide.
Why is it bad to high five an emo?
They will leave themselves hanging.
Q: What do Olympians make bad DJs?
A: They keep breaking records!
Don’t feel bad about this day because there’s a saying: "Yesterday is history, tomorrow is a mystery, but today is a gift. That is why it is called the present."
Person: Bro, you have a bad and stupid life.
Me: Yeah, it was all good till you were here!
Person: WTF!
Why are gay people bad at hide and seek?
Because they're always coming out of the closet.
He never has a bad day because he always wakes up on both sides of the bed.
Stairs are bad, because they are always up to something.
What is the difference between Black people and coal?
It’s bad for the environment to burn coal.