Bad jokes

Me: Hey, wanna know my spirit animal?

Friend: Sure.

Me: Roadkill, because I can see my mom pretty clearly now.

Friend: Wait, aren't you dead?

Me: Aren't you my son?

Friend: So that's what Mom was trying to hide from me.

Hands down, syndromes are bad.

What's black and red/read all over? A baby skunk with a bad case of diaper rash!

Jesus has died on the cross to take away our sins. He has all power, but he won’t abuse it. He will help us through tough times. Have you ever felt that feeling in you that something is a bad idea? That’s Jesus. He is the savior and never let anyone say different.

Our Lord will watch us. We will go to Heaven, the promised land, only as long as we believe he’s real and always here. Don’t let anyone speak less and make you disbelieve in our Lord. This is your choice: believe and go to Heaven, or don’t believe and go to Hell, an eternal death. Make a choice.

What’s the difference between toilet paper and a curtain?

So, it was you....

My Grandpa killed 30 Air Force pilots in WW2. He was a very bad mechanic.

What's brown and rhymes with Snoop?

Dr. Dre.

Premise 1: IF God exists, he exists.

Premise 2: If God exists, he exists.

Premise 3: IF God exists, he definitely exists.

Conclusion: Therefore he exists.

I felt bad for a dog, and I looked to my left, and there was an orphan, and I said I will make you a website, and I said there won't be a homepage.

What does the "W" stand for in Africa?

Water. Too bad there's no "W" in Africa.

What do you call an Asian, a blind man, and a very bad driver?

Why are orphans bad at poker?

They don’t know what a full house is.

Your hairline is so bad, it goes back in time!

Yo momma's armpits stink so bad she made Right Guard turn to left.

We were watching a 9/11 documentary in class and I said, "Man, they are really bad at Jenga!"

I ate some gunpowder once. It was an exploding experience.

How did Stephen Hawking die?

Of a bad internet connection.

Your hairline [is] so bad even your mama left you.

Your hairline is so bad that you have a humongous forehead.

Doctor: I have bad news.

Man: What?

Doctor: There are two things wrong with you. First, you have cancer.

Man: Oh, no...

Doctor: Second, you have Alzheimer's.

Man: Well, at least I don't have cancer!