Why are orphans bad at baseball?
Because they don't know where home is.
What did the shirt say to the pants?
Belt.
My 1 year old nephew had a stroke. I know, sounds bad... but he would have needed to learn how to speak and walk anyways.
An orphan boy at my school did really bad in a test and started crying.
I said, βDonβt worry, your parents wonβt say anything.β
Why are all fat people bad drivers?
They are all hungover.
I feel bad for the kids at Sandy Hook. All they wanted was books, but got magazines instead.
Imagine saying "my bad" instead of "sorry for your loss" at a funeral.
Beer Bottle: You break me, you get one year of bad luck!
Mirror: You kiddin' me? You break me, then y'all get seven years of bad luck!
Condom: Hahaha... (Condom walks off laughing)
My friends in my friend group say that I am quiet and I don't do anything bad. I proved them wrong by murdering the leader of it.
A doctor walks into the room and tells his patient, "I have some bad news for you. You really have to stop masturbating."
The man looks aghast and says, "Oh my God, doc, why?!"
The doctor replies, "I'm trying to examine you."