Bad jokes

Imagine saying "my bad" instead of "sorry for your loss" at a funeral.

Beer Bottle: You break me, you get one year of bad luck!

Mirror: You kiddin' me? You break me, then y'all get seven years of bad luck!

Condom: Hahaha... (Condom walks off laughing)

My friends in my friend group say that I am quiet and I don't do anything bad. I proved them wrong by murdering the leader of it.

I feel bad for the kids at Sandy Hook. All they wanted was books, but got magazines instead.

Man: Aw man, I'm having a bad day.

Man's friend: Same.

Man: So why did you have a bad day? My brother got hit by the school bus.

Man's friend: I got fired as a bus driver.

Man: Oh great heavens!

If you mixed the Iraq wheat scandal with the basics card paying other people's dole to your wife and tumble dried it in a royal commission that made your priestly mates look bad, what would you get?

Tony Abbott's career.

"Kobe is known for fade aways too bad he faded away."

Your hairline is so bad that they used it as trenches in the World War.

Why are Americans so bad at class royals?

Because they already lost 2 towers.

There was an exam music quiz question about Gary Glitter. Now, if there's anyone you don't want to associate with the phrase "shh, turn over, you've got an hour," it's him.

Shit, my bad. I should leave him alone, he just wants to settle down and have kids.

Why are orphans bad at basketball?

Because no one is there for them to pass [the ball].

Why are orphans bad at baseball?

Because they don't know where home is.

Why are orphans so bad at poker?

They don't know what a full house is.

Why are Nepalese bad at chess?

Because someone already killed their king!

What did the shirt say to the pants?

Belt.

What do the Twin Towers and a bad joke have in common? They never land well.

My 1 year old nephew had a stroke. I know, sounds bad... but he would have needed to learn how to speak and walk anyways.

Why are uncles like curries?

Because bad ones hurt your asshole.

What's green and bad for your teeth?

A green brick.

An orphan boy at my school did really bad in a test and started crying.

I said, “Don’t worry, your parents won’t say anything.”