Bad

Bad jokes

Baby

  • The doctor says to the woman, "There was good and bad news." The woman says she wants the bad news first. The doctor says, "The bad news is the baby had red hair." Then he said, "The good news is, it is dead."

  • 5
  • Boob

  • What do boobs and toys have in common?

    Kids end up playing with toys, but adults end up playing with boobs.

  • 1
  • People

  • Tell me orphan jokes are a really bad joke. People are really orphans, and there is a lot of 'em, and they are all depressed. Who would make fun of depressed people? Well, those dumbass evil people!!

    Food

  • Little Johnny's father says if them boys say another bad word, I'm going to whoop them, and Little Johnny's brother says, "I'd like some fucking food," and he whooped him, and Little Johnny says, "He would. I'd like some food. At least I didn't—I'd like some fucking food. Bye."

  • 0
  • Shed

  • A man (Ameenya Sheed) texts another man (Bob) and said,

    "Hi, I'm Ameenya Sheed."

    Bob: "You're not in my shed because I don't have one, but I have a garage. I don't think you're in there."

  • 0
  • Humour

  • Stop saying negative shit about dark humor jokes! If it bugs you that bad, then go away! That'll solve everything but world hunger and failed abortion.

  • 5
  • Cancer

  • Doctor: I have bad news.

    Man: What?

    Doctor: There are two things wrong with you. First, you have cancer.

    Man: Oh, no...

    Doctor: Second, you have Alzheimer's.

    Man: Well, at least I don't have cancer!

  • 1
  • Beach

  • Wash It Away - By Bradley Lewis(watersharky) and Ben Lewis and Watersharky Music Productions - Why does it always feel like I'm the one that's had a bad day?

    Whether I'm stuck in traffic or showing up to work late,

    Oh this 9 to 5 feels like 9 to forever been working all week

    For a jerk that thinks they can say whatever they want to me

    I'll just bite my tongue for a couple more days

    Soon I'll be in that island sun surfing those waves

    I need the beach I love the ocean

    Put my feet in the sand

    Watch the earth in motion

    Ya had a bad week ya had a bad day

    Take it to the shoreside and wash it away

    Oh yeah

    You gotta wash it away

    Finally I'm here and I can't even stop myself from smiling

    Somebody hand me a beer and I'll check the girls on the island

    Don't miss my 9 to 5

    Living like a local on this island time

    I got those sandy toes and nobody knows jump in the ocean and just go with the flow

    I'll miss my sandy toes

    I've got to go back before you know this island is my home

    I need the beach I love the ocean

    Put my feet in the sand

    Watch the earth in motion

    Ya had a bad week ya had a bad day

    Take it to the shoreside and wash it away

    Oh yeah

    You gotta wash it away

    Wash it away

    I need the beach I love the ocean

    Put my feet in the sand

    Watch the earth in motion

    Ya had a bad week ya had a bad day

    Take it to the shoreside and wash it away

    Oh yeah

    You gotta

    Wash it away

    Wash it away

  • 1
  • Orphan

  • Bad joke: Why is it easy to bully orphans? Because what are they going to do, tell their parents?