Bad jokes
Why are Nepalese bad at chess?
Because someone already killed their king!
A Chelsea fan called Timo Werner on his phone to encourage him during his bad form. Timo Werner still missed all the calls.
Why are all fat people bad drivers?
They are all hungover.
You know that your grades are bad when you get a 66% on a test and your grade goes up.
Why are Indian people bad at Monopoly?
Because whenever they hit the corner, they build a shop.
Unfortunately, I had bad luck and faced infidelity.
Picture this: the bedroom door opens and I see my girlfriend in bed with two men...
I didn’t expect her to come back so early.
I should probably stop making jokes about bulimia. They just leave a bad taste in my mouth.
Why are priests so bad at racing? They are always in the 'little behind'.
Why was the North Tower a bad doctor when the South Tower collapsed?
Because the North Tower didn’t do CPR.
Man, your hairline is so bad it started from the beginning of the month to the end!
Why is Cinderella bad at soccer?
She keeps on running from the ball.
Why are blind people bad at catching things? Because they never see it coming.
Man: Aw man, I'm having a bad day.
Man's friend: Same.
Man: So why did you have a bad day? My brother got hit by the school bus.
Man's friend: I got fired as a bus driver.
Man: Oh great heavens!
If you mixed the Iraq wheat scandal with the basics card paying other people's dole to your wife and tumble dried it in a royal commission that made your priestly mates look bad, what would you get?
Tony Abbott's career.
Why are Americans so bad at class royals?
Because they already lost 2 towers.
I feel bad for the kids at Sandy Hook. All they wanted was books, but got magazines instead.
A doctor walks into the room and tells his patient, "I have some bad news for you. You really have to stop masturbating."
The man looks aghast and says, "Oh my God, doc, why?!"
The doctor replies, "I'm trying to examine you."
Imagine saying "my bad" instead of "sorry for your loss" at a funeral.
Beer Bottle: You break me, you get one year of bad luck!
Mirror: You kiddin' me? You break me, then y'all get seven years of bad luck!
Condom: Hahaha... (Condom walks off laughing)
My friends in my friend group say that I am quiet and I don't do anything bad. I proved them wrong by murdering the leader of it.