Bad jokes

When you tell your mom that she is bad at jokes, then she tells you, "Well, I made you!"

I pushed my best friend's chair in class. Now I kinda feel bad that he was in a wheelchair.

Today I passed the exams to be a funeral director!

Too bad it's a dying trade. :)

What do you call a bad player? A noob.

Yo hairline so bad when people see it, they turn to stone.

I felt bad for the orphan because he couldn't go on a field trip, you know why?

Parent signature: _________

At least he got D.L.A. (Disability Living Allowance), so it's not all bad. Every cloud has a silver lining...even a mushroom cloud.

What do you call a downy who can't get a girlfriend?

Down bad.

Boss: Why are you so bad at driving trains? How many have you derailed this year?

Me: Sorry, boss, it’s hard to keep track.

You know that your grades are bad when you get a 66% on a test and your grade goes up.

A Chelsea fan called Timo Werner on his phone to encourage him during his bad form. Timo Werner still missed all the calls.

Why are all fat people bad drivers?

They are all hungover.

What do you call a bad piece of wood? Knotty.

How did the Asian couple name their child?

They dropped pots and pans down the stairs and listened to the noises.

What's blue and bad for your teeth?

A green brick that's painted blue after the original paint dries (it takes a little while to dry), but after it dries you can paint it and then it will be green. If the brick is green it is called a green brick as it is green (not blue anymore) and it hurts your teeth because brick is a hard material that can damage the bones in your mouth (also known as your teeth).

One day little Jonny is in class. It is the second day back to school. The teacher is annoyed with the kids, so she goes to the front of the class and says, "If you think you are stupid, stand up." Little Jonny stood up.

The teacher asked him, "Why do you think you're stupid?" Little Jonny said, "I don't think I am stupid."

Then the teacher asked little Jonny why he stood up. Then little Jonny replied, "I just felt bad seeing you standing here alone."

He wasn't that bad.

Your hairline [is] so bad, we needed to pull it from another universe.

Schools be like "dRuGS arE BaD," then prescribe a 6-year-old Adderall for not wanting to sit in the same spot for 8 hours.

Are you an egg, because you crack me up?