Bad jokes

My name is Gwen, and I say rape jokes aren't funny. It's not funny for people to have sex with you without you agreeing. Also, they're getting old and NOT FUNNY! If anyone has something to say, please do. Comment if you agree or not. It's okay; I want to hear what you say. Just tell me if they are not funny.

We will have a contest to see how many people comment on saying they're good and funny, or people saying they're bad and terrible jokes and should not be made. May the best votes and comments win.

Three doctors go into a room to get rid of a dead guy's body. They notice when they walk over that he has a boner. The first doctor decides, "Why not fuck him? He still has a boner left in him." The second says, "Well, he's dead, and I am a virgin." The third one says, "I can't, I'm on my period," and then says, "Okay, why not? He's already dead. It's not like he doesn't smell bad." After all that, they go to walk out, and the guy pops up and says, "Thanks for saving my life, pumping blood back into my body..."

A girl was going through some really bad health issues at her house. It got so bad that she had to be rushed to the hospital.

Her husband found out about this after work and went to check on her. When he got there, the desk lady immediately pointed down the hall to a doctor. The guy walked up to the doctor, "Are you the one taking care of my wife?" The doctor glanced away from his papers, "Yes, that would be me, but I am afraid that she is in very bad condition. I have bad news and good news. The bad news is that she will have to be wheeled around in a wheelchair. Also, she can't eat normally. Taking care of her will become very hard. Basically, it will be like taking care of a big baby." Shocked, the guy says, "Wait, if that's the bad news, than what is the good news?" The doctor goes, "I'm just kidding with you, she died!"

Superman was bored and wanted to go out. He called all his super friends, but they were all busy. He even calls Louis, but it's her time of the month.

He flies to the liquor store and buys some beer and gets drunk. As he is flying, he sees Wonder Woman naked on top of the roof. He starts thinking, "I will fly down and have sex with her sooooo fast," BURP, "that she won't know what happened," HICKUP.

He flies to her faster than the speed of light, BANG BANG BANG BANG BANG BANG BANG, and flies away with a smile. He passes out and crashed into a wall.

Wonder Woman jumps up and screams, "WHAT WAS THAT?"

The Invisible Man appears, holding his butt, and he gets off on Wonder Woman and says, "I don't know, but my butt hurts real bad."

A penis has a bad life. His neighbor is an asshole, his friend is a pussy, and his owner beats him.

Why did the baseball player get arrested? He tried to steal third.

Why are orphans bad at baseball?

Because they don’t know what a home is.

What do you call a kid with no arms or legs?

Names......

Why do I tell bad jokes?

I'm a lesbian.

You're so poor, when a robber robs your house, they feel bad for you and just leave.

If I had a sister with only 1 leg... wouldn't her name be I-Lean?

Nothing bad ever happens to the Kennedys! Except that one headshot, but we don’t talk about that.

My life.

Why did the bike fall over?

Because it was two tired.

Monkey: What ya doing?

Other monkey: Just you know, "hanging around."

Bad joke, right? I just can't think of something amazing. It's like my brain is "hanging."

What do you call a cringey Indian man? A Cringian.

Sorry, the joke is bad :(

Why are Americans bad at Clash Royale?

Because they have already lost 2 towers.

How do you punish Stevie Wonder for bad behavior?

You move all of the furniture around.

Q: Who are the fastest readers in the world?

A: The 9/11 victims. They went through 20 stories in seconds.

I'm really bad at giving directions, but don't take that the wrong way.