Bad jokes
What did the old chimney say to the young chimney?
"You're too young to smoke!"
That's not even a bad joke-
When you get home and see your parents with your grades in their hands.
Twenty minutes later, they're slapping you with the belt.
A girl in my class started barking, and I yelled out, "Furry!" Everyone started laughing at her, and I felt bad. After school, I asked to drive her home, and one the way there I apologized and then told her to count down from 10 - 1. Before she said one, I yelled, "THERE CAN BE ONLY ONE!" then I jumped out the car.
Wade, you're a joke. The worst joke.
Hoped this would be a safer, more fun place to talk to my BP friends, but I guess not.
I've also learned that some people think "worst jokes ever" = "terrible unfunny jokes that make light of people who died horribly or otherwise suffered" instead of things like "why did the chicken cross the road?"-type jokes.
Maybe I'm just too old at this point.
Imagine saying "my bad" instead of "sorry for your loss" at a funeral.
You would think catholic churches would be in favor of condoms: less DNA evidence.
I would've made a joke about Alzheimer's, too bad I forgot about it...
How did they lose 2 Towers?
Reason: They just fell, just like how it did in Jenga.
(I d*n't care if it's a bad joke, ok?)
To RANDYYYY,
Hi Randy, this is ALYA. I don't want to fight with you. If you're an orphan and you do know about your past, you probably get sad, right? Well, these jokes just bring up the bad times for me.
-ALYA with love
What's bad? A nut allergy.
I should probably stop making jokes about bulimia. They just leave a bad taste in my mouth.
What would you call the previous president when he is having a bad day?
Donald Grump.
I have fuck and sex with all the sexy naked ladies and they suck my balls (penis), but you ain't have no girlfriend. Your only friend, they call him ching chong coz of your hairline.
Why are orphans bad at dad jokes?
Because they don't have a dad to tell them.
Don’t feel bad about this day because there’s a saying: "Yesterday is history, tomorrow is a mystery, but today is a gift. That is why it is called the present."
Unfortunately, I had bad luck and faced infidelity.
Picture this: the bedroom door opens and I see my girlfriend in bed with two men...
I didn’t expect her to come back so early.
Why are orphans bad at baseball? Because they can't hit home runs.
Why is the UK bad at chess? Because they already lost their queen.
Why did Frozone have a headache? He had brain freeze.
Like my daddy? Too bad you don't have one.