Why are Americans so bad at Clash of Clans? Because they already lost two towers.
Bad Jokes
Son: Can I go to my friend's mum? Mum: No! Son: Dad was right, I am a son of a bitch! Mum: Bad news, but you're adopted!!
How many emo kids does it take to screw in a lightbulb? None, they all sit in the dark and cry.
To teach kids about democracy, I let them vote on dinner. They picked tacos. Then I made pizza because they don’t live in a swing state.
You’re not completely useless. You can always be used as a bad example.
"I'm sorry" and "my bad" mean the same thing, unless you're at a funeral.
Why is the USA so bad at chess?
Because they already lost two towers.
What game does a suicidal person who is very bad at word or guessing games love?
Hangman.
What separates bad jokes from dad jokes?
Condoms.
A mirror and a beer bottle are arguing.
The beer bottle says: "If you break me, you get one year of bad luck."
The mirror scoffs: "Oh, that's nothing. You break me and you get 7 years of bad luck."
The condom overhears these arguments and walks off laughing.
My woman is a nine on a bad day, but she’ll be 10 on her birthday.
Help, my ADHD is so bad that not even I can focus in a concentration camp.
I love all races, even the bad ones.
I was in a school shooting a few years ago, 3 people died.
I guess that’s what you get when you’re bad at hide and seek.
Oh no, I feel bad for Stephen Hawking. He can’t get up the stairway to Heaven.
What's green and has wheels? Grass, I lied about the wheels.
Why is America bad at chess? We already lost two towers.
Sister: You're adopted.
Me: At least they wanted me, they must feel terribly bad cuz they had to keep you :(
What do you call a cow with no legs? Ground Beef.
What's white and can't climb a tree?
A refrigerator.
Australian says to American: why do you have such bad gun laws?
American: Self defense.
Australian: Self defense against 50 innocent children?
Bully: I'm going to hurt you so bad.
You: Well... your IQ is the same amount of teeth I'm about to knock out, so... you're so dumb that you can't even do that.
And your IQ is 5.
