A heavily pregnant woman is in an accident and gives birth to twins while comatose. Upon awakening some days later, the doctors tell her that her brother Tom filled out the birth certificates while she was out.
"Oh no, Tom's an idiot, what did he name my daughter?" she asked the nurse.
"Denise."
"That's not a bad name. And what did he name the boy?"
"Tom Junior."
Why is USA so bad at chess
Because they already lost two towers
Doctor: I've got good news and bad news Patient: What's the good news? Doctor: I've got u flowers Patient: Awww, What's the bad news? Doctor: *They're for your grave*
what game does a suicidal person who is very bad at word or guessing games love?
hangman
why was the bad baseball player so good at bowling? he kept making strikes
A mirror and a beer bottle are arguing The beer bottle says: if you break me you get one year of bad luck The mirror scoffs: oh, that's nothing, you break me and you get 7 years of bad luck. The condom overhears these arguments and walks off laughing
Help, my ADHD is so bad that not even I can focus in a concentration camp.
What separates bad jokes from dad jokes?
Condoms.
Oh no I feel bad for Steven Hawkins he can’t get up the stairway to heaven
What's green and has wheels? Grass, I lied about the wheels
I'm sorry and my bad mean the same thing, unless your at a funeral.
why is america bad at chess, we already lost two towers
Sister: your adopted
Me: at least they wanted me, they must feel terribly bad cuz they had to keep you :(
What do you call a cow with no legs? Ground Beef.
What's white and can't climb a tree?
A refrigerator
A man lost his toe when he dropped a knife on it: Doctor: I have good news and bad news Guy" Whats the bad news Doc: They replaced your toe with a piece of candy Guy: Good news? Doc: You now have tic tac toe
Why can’t dinosaurs clap?
Because there dead.
