Bad Jokes

Here's a list of puns, not all of them are mine.

1. Smaller babies may be delivered by stork, but the heavier ones need a crane.

2. Yesterday, I accidentally swallowed some food coloring. The doctor says I’m okay, but I feel like I’ve dyed a little inside.

3. My sister bet that I couldn’t build a car out of spaghetti. You should’ve seen her face when I drove pasta.

4. Getting the ability to fly would be so uplifting.

5. Two windmills are standing in a wind farm. One asks, “What’s your favorite kind of music?” The other says, “I’m a big metal fan.”

6. Why was the cookie sad? Because his mom was a wafer long!

7. Why didn’t the cat go to the vet? He was feline fine!

8. How do you make a good egg-roll? You push it down a hill!

9. That baseball player was such a bad sport. He stole third base and then just went home!

10. My parents said I can’t drink coffee anymore. Or else they’ll ground me!

Doctor: I've got good news and bad news.

Patient: What's the good news?

Doctor: I've got you flowers.

Patient: Awww, What's the bad news?

Doctor: They're for your grave.

Why are you making all these bad jokes about orphans what did they ever do to you

What did one shoe say to the other shoe when they were fighting?

I wanna sock you in the eye so bad!

People say, "I like your cut G." Which is when you get a fresh cut. But I guess when you go bald, we can say, "Like your forehead, G."

I know it's really, really, really, really bad.

Yo Nan

little johnny father seas if them boys say anther bad word i'm going to whoop them and little johnny brother sey's i'll like sum fuking food and he whoop him and little johnny sey's he wood i'll like sum food at lest i didnt i'll like sum fuking food by.

U know what you could use a orphan as a punching bad ............ what are they gunna do tell their parents

Why do people in a wheelchair make bad jokes? Because they are bad at stand up.

If your butt hurts real bad put some vapor rub and booty cream on it so it can heal back to normal.

Yo hairline i so bad when you look in the mirror yo hairline looks like an endangered specie

he never has a bad day

because he always wake’s up on both sides on the bed

I would tell you a good joke but I can’t so here is a bad one

I would tell you a joke about a teacher but she’d kill you at school

Why are Amoebas so bad at math? Because, when they need to multiply, they divide

Have u ever noticed When a woman is pregnant aII her friends touch her stomach and say "congrats" but none of them touch the man's penis and say "weII done"

When a military person dies, we shoot all night. When a drunkard dies, we drink all night. When a Christian dies, we pray all night. What if a prostitute dies? What should we do? Please tell me.

So this woman woke up since she had a bad dream and was yelling about her bad dream then in the bed her husband woke up and said "Hey You Just Woke Me Up In A Sweet Dream" she said "Oh Sorry Babe" then she asked him what was his about then he responded like "I was with a woman me and her was in the middle of dreamy sex you just ruined it" she said "AAAAh" he asked her what her dream was about then she replied as "I was trying to suck a mans Penis and A cock trying to get cumpiee out of it"!

My kids so dam bad.we took them to Disney in Florida.they paid me not to bring them back ever.

You would think catholic churches would be in favor of condoms: less dna evidence

You remind me of a snowflake, beautiful and unique. One touch and your wet.